Two toothpicks walking along when they see a hedgehog.
One says to the other, "Look, a tour bus.’
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The husband has his lesson first.
After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No, no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”
“Well, what should I do?” asks the man.
“Hold the club gently,” the pro replied, “just like you’d hold your wife’s breasts.”
The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and WOW! He hits the ball 250 yards, straight up the fairway.
The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can’t wait for her lesson.The next day the wife goes for her lesson.
The pro watches her swing and says, “No, no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard.”
“What can I do?” asks the wife.
“Hold the club gently, just like you’d hold your husband’s thing.”
The wife listens carefully to the pro’s advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway . . . about 15 ft.
“That was great,” the pro says. “Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing the club like you’re supposed to!”
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A pregnant elephant goes to the doctor

Right away the doctor says "I want to talk about the elephant in the womb”
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Whenever I want to beat a lesbian, I always use a rock

Because for some reason, lesbians always choose scissors.
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I met a girl named La Sanya today.

I think she's Italian.
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What do you call someone who masturbates to the Iliad and the Odyssey?

A Homer-Sexual |