Why did cows return to the marijuana farm ?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
—
I needed a blood transfusion, but the hospital
ran out of blood, so they substituted borscht.
Now my heart never skips a beet.
--
My wife left me for a tractor salesman.
I got a John Deere letter.
—
I asked my wife to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun
I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,
"Babes, Jabba the Hutt is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,
"Fuck you asshole" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet”
—
A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed a "nooner." "Don't worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, there's no risk."
As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, "We have to stop, I forgot to bring birth control!"
"No problem," her lover replies. "I'll get my wife's diaphragm.”
After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury.
"That bitch!" he exclaims. "She took it with her! I always knew she didn't trust me!” |
|
