A nerdy guy sees an attractive girl in a cafe and walks up to her.
 Without knowing what to say he stood still and just stared at her for a few seconds.
After a while he said, "Are you sitting on the F5 key or something cause your breasts are refreshing.”
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A newlywed couple is taking a tour of their potential first house with their realtor. The realtor shows them the first bedroom upstairs which is a kids bedroom. The realtor is going over the features when he suddenly walks over to the window, opens it up, and shouts "green side up!”.
The young couple just kinda look at each other and shrug their shoulders. They move on to the next room which is an office. Again, halfway though his description of the space, the realtor goes over to the window. He opens it and shouts, “Green side up! Green side up!!”.
The couple again shrug their shoulders and they move on to the master bedroom. The realtor begins to describe the room and once again, opens the window and yells, “How many times to I have to tell you, green side up!”.
This time the husband asks the realtor, "Why is it that every time we tour a new room you open the window and yell green side up?”.
The realtor replies, "Sorry about that, I have a crew of blonde women planting trees”.
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Dad, is there a place where people love everyone no matter their race, color, religion or sexuality?

Yes son, it’s called pornhub.
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What did Bo-Peep say to Woody when they were having a three way with Buzz Light-year?

You've got a friend in me. |