There's an old army veteran living in the public toilets at my local park.
Apparently, he used to be a colonel, but now he's just a loo tenant.
—
I write songs about sewing machines.
I'm a Singer songwriter.
—
A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action.
As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway!
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious of its slipping rider. Finally, losing her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over and over.
As her head is battered against the ground and she is mere moments away from unconsciousness, to her great fortune, Charles the Walmart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
—
What do Jewish men say to each other after a hard session at gym?
"Muscle tough!” |
