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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato	7/25/2025 4:10:13 PM
	of 6593

My wife is speeding and lying about it to me. I can't find any tickets as proof but her friends tell me that she is getting nailed by 2 cops. --- My dad was a successful contractor. He frequently contracted chlamydia. — Did you hear about the travelling pasta salesman? His commission was penne's on the dollar. BONUS: Too bad he's dead now, he pasta way. At least he has Angel Hair now. - A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke." So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become. The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making a spectacle of yourselves!"

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