Don Surber
Highlights of the week
AUG 09, 2025
Tony Moon, a Rooftop Korean who defended Koreatown in LA in the 1992 riots, tweeted, “Hello Mr. President, welcome to the roof. Sandwiches will be coming up in about 15 minutes.”
ITEM 1: NBC wailed, “High-ranking FBI job losses disproportionately hurt women, people of color.”
Buried in Paragraph 12: Kash Patel is the first non-white FBI director.
ITEM 2: The Hollywood Reporter reported, “ Dean Cain says he joined ICE ‘to help save America’ in support of Trump’s immigration crackdown.”
Well, there goes the narrative that Superman is an illegal alien.
ITEM 3: Axios reported, “Apple to invest another $100 billion in U.S. as Trump applies pressure.”
Pressure? He threatened to have Chris Christie sit on Apple CEO Tim Cook.
ITEM 4: Katie Pavlich reported, “Trump Orders a New Census.”
This time we won’t count illegal aliens as citizens.
ITEM 5: Brad Slager reported, “NBC News Has Discovered the Latest Hate Crime—Now There Is an Intolerant Slur for Robots.”
It’s Clankers.
A.I. has arrived.
ITEM 6: Strength In Numbers reported, “Trump is underwater on trade in 40 states.”
There go his chance of being re-elected again.
ITEM 7: Thomas Kolbe reported, “Soft power, empty hands: Germany’s finance minister fails in D.C.”
The most humiliating moment was as he left, Trump shouted from the rooftop, “Go home and invade Poland.”
ITEM 8: Mexico News Daily reported, “The amount of money Mexico received in remittances fell 16.2% annually in June, the largest year-over-year decline for any month in more than a decade.”
In totally unrelated news, available parking space at Home Depot increased 16.2%
ITEM 9: WaPo reported, “CIA officials worried that the release of a House report on 2016 Russian election meddling could reveal top-secret spying techniques and sources, but Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard authorized a lightly redacted version with President Trump’s blessing.”
Yes, the last thing the CIA wants to reveal is how it spies on American citizens.
ITEM 10: Sirius XM did not pick up Howard Stern’s contract.
Why am I writing about someone so unpopular?
ITEM 11: Elon Musk tweeted, “A few days ago, a gang of about a dozen young men tried to assault a woman in her car at night in DC.
“A Doge team member [Big Balls] saw what was happening, ran to defend her and was severely beaten to the point of concussion, but he saved her.”
Musk linked President Trump threatening to federalize DC.
Then do Cincinnati and every other city Democrats have turned into Port au Prince, Haiti.
ITEM 12: Farnaz Fassihi tweeted, “In a rare move, Iran executed a nuclear scientist Roozbeh Vadi on charges of spying for Israel & facilitating the assassination of another scientist during the war.”
But CNN insisted the Orange Man didn’t stop Iran’s nuke program which will go on despite B-2s making the mountain collapse on the main lab and the execution and assassinations of its top physicists.
ITEM 13: Good Morning America reported that 12 states will block using food stamps to buy junk food. Paragraph 13 said:
While all of this is being done under the banner of “making America healthy again” and fighting chronic disease, ABC News medical correspondent Dr. Darien Sutton said “there's no evidence that taking away access to soda will actually fight these conditions.”
Then the good doctor took a smoke break.
ITEM 14: Brenden Dilley tweeted, “There is ZERO chance that all of these long running shows that have been woke garbage for YEARS all just decided in the last thirty days that they were tired of losing money.
“How much USAID money was propping up a fake and gay culture that nobody wanted?”
Your tax dollars at work against you.
ITEM 15: Karol Nawrocki, the new President of Poland said, “My Poland is a Poland without illegal migrants. It is a Poland where instead of integration centers, there are deportation centers for those who want to destroy our safety.”
Poland had a bad experience with invaders 80 years ago.
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ITEM 16: Peter St Onge tweeted, “Republicans just ended federal car mileage mandates. The rules added $6,000 to the cost of a car. They siphoned billions from American car companies to foreigners.
“And they killed 100,000 Americans by forcing them to drive tin cans.”
Two tons of Mustang surround me when I drive. Bentleys are 2 1/2 tons.
By the way, I asked the mean old wife if I could buy a Volkswagen. She said no because VW owns Bentley. After 47 years she knows all my tricks.
A reader sent me a 1929 Bentley.
My wife won’t let me keep it.
ITEM 17: Breitbart reported, “Democrat Massachusetts Gov. Maura Healey Threatens Redistricting Despite No Republicans Representing Gerrymandered State.”
Harvard grad.
ITEM 18: Bill Melugin tweeted, “The FBI announced they’ve arrested Boston’s sanctuary sheriff on federal extortion charges. Suffolk County, MA Sheriff Steven Tompkins was arrested by federal agents in Florida today for allegedly extorting $50,000 from the owner of a national cannabis retailer wanting to do business in Boston.”
Look for Governor Healey to make Massachusetts a sanctuary state for extortionists, who are only doing the jobs mobsters won’t do.
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ITEM 19: Breitbart reported, “A bomb threat reportedly sparked an evacuation at a Chicago-area hotel where some of the Texas Democrat lawmakers who left the state to prevent their Republican colleagues from voting on a redrawn map of congressional districts were staying.”
Jussie Smollett is suspected of calling in the threat because the caller said Chicago is MAGA country.
ITEM 20: ABC reported, “President Trump said he will be meeting with Russia's President Vladimir Putin next Friday in Alaska.”
Vlad and Zelensky want a ceasefire because both ran out of ammo.
ITEM 21: The New York Times tweeted, “A judge ordered a two-week halt to construction on the migrant detention center in Florida known as Alligator Alcatraz while she considered arguments that building and operating the facility would harm the environment.”
Another day, another Obama judge goes bonkers.
ITEM 22: Citing a New York Post story, Bad Hombre tweeted, “Three of Jasmine Crockett’s staffers have turned against her, alleging Crockett is an abusive boss who routinely berates and belittles them, curses them out, refuses to go into the office, choosing instead to lounge around her luxury DC apartment while they complete all her tasks, has them do her laundry, and treats them like an Uber service.”
Did I call her the Angel Reese of Congress the other day? I meant the black Hillary.
ITEM 23: NYT reported, “How the Right Shaped the Debate Over the Sydney Sweeney Ads.”
By breathing.
ITEM 24: Gript reported, “A man arrested for carrying gardening tools in Manchester has said he was given no choice but to accept a police caution because no solicitor was available.”
Look for Britain to ban using hot water to make tea.
ITEM 25: The Telegraph reported, “Shotgun owners forced to wait a year for new licenses.”
British police said the delays stem from having to do important police work like busting gardeners for carrying their trowels home.
ITEM 26: Jen Pawol will debut later today as the first woman umpire in major league baseball.
Pawol will join other female pioneers. Sally Ride, the first woman astronaut! Sandra Day O’Connor, the first woman Supreme Court justice! Hillary Clinton, the first woman president!
ITEM 27: NBC reported, “A federal judge [Boasberg] abused his authority in pursuing contempt proceedings against Trump administration officials over deportation flights carried out under the Alien Enemies Act, a federal appeals court ruled Friday.”
Lock him up!
ITEM 28: Disclose.TV tweeted, “Trump signs Pentagon directive to begin using military force against Latin American drug cartels.”
Time to recall Hunter Biden to military service to sniff out the evidence.
ITEM 29: On Friday, President Trump welcomed the prime minister of Armenia to the White House.
It was Trump’s first meeting with an Armenian since Kim Kardashian’s visit.
ITEM 30: Zero Hedge reported, “President Trump has a higher favorability rating in Britain than Kier Starmer, the country’s leftist Prime Minister, a new poll has revealed.”
To be honest, rancid pigmeat is more popular than Starmer.
ITEM 31: A literally shaking AP said, “Justice Department escalates scrutiny of Trump foes with probes of Letitia James and Adam Schiff.”
No one is above the law— Tish James.
No one, not even a president, is above the law— Adam Schiff.
ITEM 32: Fox reported, “Jimmy Kimmel admits ‘repulsive’ liberal scolds are driving people away from the Democratic Party.”
Well that and the fact that under Biden inflation rose, we surrendered Afghanistan, crime ran rampant, the borders were wide open, FJB was too old to be president and Kamala was too dumb.
FINALLY, on Thursday I used four quotes to mock AOC. I failed to double-check them. Two were misattributions. I apologize for failing to fact-check my piece and I have deleted those two quote in the post online.
But these two quotes were real:
Again, I apologize to my readers. |
