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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only
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From: Tomato8/24/2025 1:16:29 PM
   of 6590
 
My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.


I had some pretty big shoes to fill.

—

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.

First Owner: My dog is so smart that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese,

stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.

Second Owner: I know.

First O: How do you know?

Second O: My dog told me.

—

I'm in the hospital right now. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

But let me just say, the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.

—

What do you call a large mammal that lives in swamps and shouts obscenities at passers by?

A hippopottymouth.

—

I'm starting a non-profit that specializes in rebuilding environments for large sea mammals.

I'm calling it Habitat for Huge Manatees.
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