15% of women admit to having used vibrators.
The other 85% said they bought them new.
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A plane carrying a rabbi, a cantor, and a congregation president went down and the passengers were captured by cannibals.
The cannibals round the dazed survivors up, haul them back to their village. They tell each of the three men that they're a tribe of cannibals, and that they're all going to be killed and eaten. But, since there's some time before the feast at nightfall, if they wish to make a request before their demise, anything reasonable will be honored.
The rabbi steps up and says "I was working in this sermon for Yom Kippur. I guess I won't get a chance to say it now. Please, let me deliver the sermon to your people. It'll be about two hours long, and I'm sure you won't get all the references, but I'd at least like someone to hear it."
That request is granted, and then the cantor steps up. "I had this new beautiful arrangement for the Avodah service, all ready to go. It will take about three hours to sing it all. I know none of you will understand the Hebrew, but please, let me sing it for you all."
That request too is granted, and then the congregation president steps up. "Please, kill me first.”
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Damn Redneck forgot to zip his trousers so a lady told him politely... "Sir your garage is open". Redneck gave her a naughty smile and
zipped his trousers up and asked... "Did you see my Range Rover parked inside “ ?
The lady smiled back and said... "No, just one Mini Cooper and two flat tires “!
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A girl goes to a movie theatre
with her dog. The movie didn’t have a happy ending and many people were crying at the end of the movie and her dog was crying as well.
A lady sitting next to her saw the dog crying and said “That’s absolutely amazing. I can’t believe your dog is crying”
She responded: “I can’t believe it either. He hated the book.” |
