| | | Embarrassed Jay Jones Realizes He's Only Supposed To Want To Murder Kids Before They're Born
POLITICS·Oct 8, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
ARLINGTON, VA — An embarrassed Jay Jones realized earlier this week that he was only supposed to support murdering kids before they were born, not after.
Sources say that the Democrat AG candidate who fantasized about murdering Republican children over text was totally mortified to realize that he should have just been publicly supporting the murder of children in the womb instead.
"That's my bad," said Jones, slapping his forehead in frustration. "I forgot that you can only want to kill kids before they pass the birth canal, not afterwards. Silly me. I deeply apologize for my texts wishing death on kids after birth. To be clear, I want them dead as soon as possible, I just misspoke."
In a gracious display of humility, Jones directly apologized to the man whose kids he fantasized about murdering.
"I'm so sorry for getting caught fantasizing about killing your kids," said Jones. "What I meant was that I wish your kids had been aborted. I apologize for the terrible words that I spoke. From the bottom of my heart, my mistake."
At publishing time, Jones had promised to make a $10,000 donation to Planned Parenthood as a token of goodwill. |
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