Two blonds walk into a tanning salon.
The receptionist asks, “Are you two sisters?” One replies, “No silly, we’re not even Catholic”.
—
Yo Mama's so old.....
She was a DJ at the Boston Tea Party.
The only dating she's involved in is carbon dating.
Her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
She was a waitress at the Last Supper.
The last period she had was the Mesozoic.
When she was a kid, rainbows were in black and white.
She got Adam and Eve's autograph.
She was deafened by the Big Bang.
—
A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant who liked to wear
very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the
store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind
the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin
bread, he has a brilliant idea.
"I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says.
The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread
located on the very top shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath
her, was provided with an excellent view, just as he had thought he
would get.
When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two
loaves. As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of
the other male customers notices what's going on and requests his own
loaf of raisin bread.
After many trips she is tired and irritated and begins to wonder, “Why
the unusual interest in the raisin bread?"
Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men
standing below. Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the
crowd. Thinking that she can save herself another trip, she yells at the
elderly man, "Is it raisin for you too?"
"No maam, but it's quivering a little.”
—
|
| | I got a phone call from my son's school today
Hello, is this Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you?
Hi, This is little Billy’s music teacher calling
Oh, hi.
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That’s..
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet. |
|
