| | | "If Kirk is 'one of the most famous men in Arizona history', AZ has a pretty poor history."
Gary Boldwater, John McCain, the Clanton Gang, and Kirk. Maybe Larry Fitzgerald.
By ART HOPPE
Hi there, boys and girls out there in front of your TV sets. Fasten your seat belts! 'Cause here we go! Off on another thrilling adventure with the jim-dandiest hero of all GARY BOLDWATER, BOY AMERICAN! Faster than a horseless carriage, ' stronger than the House of Morgan, able to bound over tall issues in a single leap GARY BOLDWATER, BOY AMERICAN! There's Gary now, kids, in his usual disguise as a stuffy old Senator, wearing stuffy old horn-rimmed glasses and a stuffy old double-breasted suit. His pretty secretary, Lotus Lane (who doesn't know his real identity) , is reading him the paper. Because he always pretends he can't read. Even though he really can.
Lotus: Oh, Senator, this is terrible! Every candidate for President is a fuzzy-minded liberal. Let me read you their public statements. It proves patriotic Americans have absolutely no one they can vote for. Gary: Well, now, Miss Lane, I don't see much sense a-reading all that stuff. I'm sure all those candidates there are as patriotic as . . . Well, as the Father of Our Country, George . . . George . . You know the one I mean. Lotus: (angrily): Oh, Senator, like most Americans, you don't know what's going on. I shall now go to my meeting of Patriots, Ltd. I may be only a pretty girl, but I will do my best to save my country. (As soon as she stomps out, Gary whips off his stuffy glasses and suit to reveal the uniform of a General in the Air Force Reserve the uniform of GARY ; BOLDWATER, BOY AMERICAN! jet plane he zooms skyward and flies around in circles.)
Chula Vista Star-News 12 January 1964 — California Digital Newspaper Collection |
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