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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices
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longz
To: Mongo2116 who wrote (1572610)11/19/2025 10:49:50 PM
From: Maple MAGA 1 Recommendation  Read Replies (3) of 1579714
 
10 Proofs Jesus is American...



Lots of people try to remake Jesus in their own image by viewing His life through the lens of their culture, but this is a remarkably offensive way to view the King of Kings. Unless you're American. We spoke to actual theologians to discuss the validity of Jesus being an American and you won't believe what we learned.

Check out these convincing proofs:
  1. Founded the most popular religion in America: No way that's a coincidence.

  2. Didn't rely on government to solve problems: Bureaucrats can't walk on water or heal blindness.

  3. He was played by Jim Caviezel in a movie: And he's more American than anybody.

  4. Never watched a soccer game: Of course he didn't. Because he wasn't a stinking communist.

  5. Probably would have liked baseball if it'd been around at the time: You can just tell, you know?

  6. Didn't use the metric system: 'Merica.

  7. You can't spell Jesus without spelling USA: If you rearrange it and add a letter.

  8. Always gets dragged in to Middle Eastern politics: Mission accomplished.

  9. Didn't have a voter ID: What's that?

  10. Provided aid to people in Israel: Not unlike the United States.
This seems pretty definitive to me. This is why America is the most sacred and patriotic nation on earth.
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