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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices
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To: Mongo2116 who wrote (1573052)11/22/2025 6:42:24 PM
From: Maple MAGA 2 Recommendations  Read Replies (2) of 1576262
 
Trump Has Spoken: These 12 Crimes Of Sedition Are Now Punishable By Death

Crime · Nov 21, 2025



Provoked by Democratic lawmakers calling on the military to refuse orders from their commander-in-chief, President Donald Trump made several posts on Truth Social declaring a long list of crimes as sedition and punishable by death.

The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of crimes that will be met with swift justice:

  1. Fast-forwarding through his cameos in Home Alone 2 and The Little Rascals: "This is HATE SPEECH and LITERAL VIOLENCE. Thank you for your attention to this matter!"

  2. Getting his McDonald's order wrong: "I used to work there. I was a TREMENDOUS and TALENTED fry cook, everyone said so. I NEVER GOT AN ORDER WRONG!"

  3. Failing to rewind a videotape before returning it to Blockbuster: "If you keep doing this, we WON'T HAVE A COUNTRY ANYMORE!!! An example MUST BE SET!"

  4. Saying "China" without the proper Trump accent: "Anyone caught saying 'China' the dumb way will be considered a SPY and tried for TREASON!"

  5. Calling Washington's NFL team anything other than the Redskins: "I love all Indians. Except for Elizabeth 'Pocahontas' Warren. Wa-wa-wa-wa! That's an Indian noise. Make The Redskins Great Again!"

  6. Asking to see his tax returns: "I have been under audit for 95 years, and I know more about business than you do. That makes me smart, believe me."

  7. Wearing green army fatigues to an Oval Office meeting: "If you don't wear a suit, you are ROLLING THE DICE with WORLD WAR 3. Not good!"

  8. Crying during the taping of your late-night show: "America wants to laugh, not cry at you losers! Seditious!"

  9. Editing footage to make it look like he encouraged an insurrection to overthrow the U.S. government: "Don't be FAKE NEWS! I have already declared war on the BBC. And on Great Britain, which is not so great!"

  10. Saying his hands are small: "These lies cannot be allowed to stand — my hands are PERFECTLY NORMAL. Maybe the greatest hands. Many have said so."

  11. Stealing bars of soap from a Trump hotel: "Unacceptable. Those bars of soap are NOT CHEAP. We use great soap. So many stolen bars. Over time, it ADDS UP."

  12. Shooting him: "I shouldn't even have to say this, but shooting me is NOT RIGHT! TERRIBLER! Don't do it."

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