Dogs
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. - Anonymous
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than they love themselves. - Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. - M. Acklam
Ever wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never bathed a dog. - Franklin P.
If your dog is fat, YOU aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. - Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? We come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My goodness, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they do make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. - Phil Pastoret
—
The UN was concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner.
It meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
—
A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
‘You ok?’ she says.
‘Yes.’ he says.
‘You can go and play with the other kids you know’ she says.
‘No, it’s probably best I stay here.’ he says.
‘Why’s that sweetie?’ says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
“Because I’m the Goalie!”
—
Ebola, covid, and monkeypox walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “What is this, some kinda sick joke?” |
