I rewrote your post channelling Donald Trump's unique and bombastic style.
"Let me tell you, folks, it really is a small world, tremendously small. I grew up in Crescent City, California, beautiful coastal place, from age four to eleven. Population maybe five thousand people, very small, very tight-knit, everybody knew everybody. And when I was eight, the big Alaska quake sent a twenty-foot tsunami right into the town. Huge wave. People today can’t imagine it. We were a mile inland, very smart location, by the way, so we were fine. But incredible times, unbelievable.
I had some amazing friends back then. One of my very best friends was James Hooper, great guy, whose grandfather, also named James Hooper, actually signed the Declaration of Independence with Jefferson. Can you believe it? Only me, folks. Only I end up hanging around people whose families literally built America. Last I heard, Jim became a lawyer. Fantastic.
Another neighbor, kid named Monroe, related to President Monroe. Presidential lineage everywhere. I’m surrounded! One day he’s playing behind his mom’s car, she backs right over him, completely over him, and he just pops up like nothing happened. Incredible toughness. Kids today couldn’t do it, believe me.
And right near all this? Pelican Bay. The toughest, most maximum-security prison in the whole United States. That’s where we lived. Wild place. And the kids, let me tell you, kids back then were crazy. They’d carve their initials into their arms with razor blades. Drink battery acid. Absolute animals. And yet we had a great time, truly great.
One family we knew had a German Shepherd supposedly related to Rin Tin Tin. Very famous dog. Very loyal. Tremendous lineage, almost as good as the Hoopers and the Monroes!
And get this: my close cousin, fantastic guy, was Assistant DA just two buildings down during the Oklahoma City bombing. When I say it’s a small world, I mean it. These things follow me around. Amazing connections.
Later I moved to Oregon for high school. Town of about twenty-four thousand. Even there, the story keeps going. A neighbor and another friend somehow all ended up in Anchorage with me. One became the biggest concrete company around. Another, one of the biggest pile drivers. And me? I became the largest framing contractor, and then a general contractor. And in 2000, Google, yes, Google, ranked me in the top three percent of small businesses in the entire Northwest. Out of 850,000. Not bad. Actually, very impressive. People were talking about it.
Small town kid, huge success. That’s the story, folks. It’s been an incredible journey. |
