| | | The last one made me laugh(didn’t your mother tell you?):
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Don Surber
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK
Happy 100th birthday today to Dick Van Dyke. He’ll live another 100 years if that darned ottoman does not get him first.
ITEM 1: The Economic Times reported, “The overall trade deficit fell 10.9% in September to $52.8 billion, the lowest since mid-2020 during the Covid-19 pandemic.”
The story also said, “Surveys of economists conducted by Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal had expected the trade deficit to widen to $62 billion.”
The only thing they are expert at is getting it wrong.
ITEM 2: PJ Media reported, “FIFA ‘Pride Match’ Will Feature Two Countries That Ban Homosexuality.”
Iran is proud of its major contribution to homosexuality—execution.
ITEM 3: Jasmine Crockett announced she’s running for the Senate in Texas. Or shall I say running to collect donations from liberal billionaires.
Beto raised $80 million 7 years ago to lose to Ted Cruz. Come on, baby, momma needs to pay those HOA fees.
ITEM 4: The Daily Wire reported, “Netflix Mocked For Film About Trans-Identifying Coal Miner Fighting The Patriarchy.”
I thought Monty Python covered this quite well 50 years ago with its Lumberjack Song.
ITEM 5: Zero Hedge declared, “Once Again, London Has The Most Pathetic Christmas Tree On The Planet.”
Maybe Linus Van Pelt will give them his security blanket to prop it up.
ITEM 6: Via the New York Post , Fox reported, “Tennis legend Martina Navratilova says she wouldn’t choose to defect to U.S. today under Trump.”
The ingrate said, “I defected from a totalitarian regime, and like hell am I going to be cowed again, and have to be careful about what I say. I grew up in a Communist country, Czechoslovakia. So I know what it looks like and feels like to live in a totalitarian regime where you cannot speak your mind, or worse, put in prison for political opinions. I’m so proud to be an American, but I’m embarrassed for what Trump is doing to our country.”
Then Trump arrested her and threw her in jail. Oh wait. That’s what they do to critics of the government in England.
I would say send her back but thanks to Reagan, Pope John Paul II and Lech Walesa, the totalitarian state of Czechoslovakia no longer exists. Please subscribe.
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ITEM 7: The Daily Mail reported, “Tucker Carlson announces he is ‘buying a place in Qatar’ to prove he is a patriotic American.”
Qatarzan and his Muslim band. That’s all you can stand, let’s give him a hand. Qatarzan.
ITEM 8: Breitbart News reported, “‘Weapons Are Our Honor and Glory’: Hamas Chief Khaled Mashal Rejects Disarmament, Defies Trump Gaza Peace Plan.”
No problem. Send them a box of pagers.
ITEM 9: Conservative Treehouse reported, “House Releases Text of 2026 National Defense Authorization Act Codifying 15 Trump Executive Orders.”
How dare Republicans treat Donald Trump as if he were commander-in-chief. Do you know who else was a commander-in-chief? That’s right. Hitler.
ITEM 10: Bill Belichick will make you cry.
The video.
ITEM 11: The National Pulse reported, “Government Watchdog Uncovers $94 million in Obamacare Subsidies Fraudulently Paid for Dead People.”
I have to hand it to Democrats. They take care of their voters.
ITEM 12: Sure, it was 19 degrees but I felt so much warmer knowing it felt like 24.
Just had to go outside and put the top down. After brushing off a couple of inches of snow.
ITEM 13: WFLA reported, “Ron DeSantis declares CAIR, Muslim Brotherhood as ‘foreign terrorist organizations.’”
CAIR threatened to sue. DeSantis tweeted, “I look forward to discovery—especially the CAIR finances. Should be illuminating!”
ITEM 14:
ITEM 15: The Jeff Bezos Washington Post reported, “Trump’s attack on DEI may hurt college men, particularly white men.”
Then that shows how altruistic white men are in fighting against DEI.
ITEM 16: The Bezos Post also reported Republican Congressman Mike Rogers pulled the plug on a Watergate-style witch hunt over the War Department blowing up drug runners in teh Caribbean.
The story said, “Rogers, whose comments were reported earlier by Politico, expressed his hesitancy to proceed soon after a classified call with Admiral Alvin Holsey, the top U.S. military officer overseeing operations in Latin America.”
Hey, maybe an admiral knows more about the law of the sea than a WaPo reporter does.
ITEM 17: The story said, “Holsey is among a group of more than 20 generals and admirals that have been fired, removed, reassigned or otherwise pushed aside since the Trump administration took office in January. The collective brain drain also includes the ouster of Gen. Charles Q. Brown Jr., the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Adm. Lisa Franchetti, the former chief of naval operations, and Adm. Linda Fagan, the Coast Guard commandant.”
Brain drain! That must mean the remaining 800 active duty admirals and generals are brain dead.
ITEM 18: Speaking of brain dead, in a hearing this week, Justice Sotomayor said, “You mean to suggest that the fact that one major donor to the current president, the most major donor to the president, got a very lucrative job immediately upon election from the new administration, does not give the appearance of quid pro quo?”
By lucrative, she means no pay. Musk worked for free.
Meanwhile, her agent is lining up another $3 million book deal.
ITEM 19: Zero Hedge reported, “Trump Admin Pulls 9,500 Truck Drivers Off The Road For Failing English Tests.”
Press 1 for English. Press any other button and you are catapulted back to your homeland.
ITEM 20: NBC reported, “Santa performer, former Mercer Co. elementary teacher arrested for child porn.”
(Sings) Santa got run over by a woodchipper.
ITEM 21: Politico reported, “Miami elects first woman mayor, marking first win by Democrat in 28 years.”
Little Havana is about to become as communist as the big one.
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ITEM 22: Mediaite reported, “Pete Buttigieg Is Less Popular Among Black People Than Former KKK Leader David Duke Was in 2016: Poll.”
It’s not that Pete’s gay. It’s not that he’s incompetent. It’s not that he looks like Alfred E. Neuman. It’s not that he epitomizes white liberal privilege.
OK, it’s because he’s gay.
ITEM 23: Andrew Puzder, U.S. Ambassador to the EU, said, “The GDP per capita of Germany, the industrial giant of Europe, is now below that of the state of West Virginia.”
That is what happens when you flip the legislature Republican after 80 years of Democrat control.
ITEM 24: The New York Post reported, “Anheuser-Busch selling classic NJ brewery, closing New Hampshire and California sites.”
The King of Beers done in by a drag queen.
ITEM 25: The New York Times reported, “National Trust Sues to Block Trump’s White House Ballroom Construction.”
Washington Post ran almost the exact same display.
Democrats will do anything to preserve a big old hole in the ground.
ITEM 26: Zero Hedge reported, “Social Justice Gone Wild: Oklahoma BLM Leader Indicted On Fraud, Money Laundering Charges.”
The story goes that Tashella Sheri Amore Dickerson used BLM to raise $3 million to bail protesters. When their cases were cleared, the bail money was refunded to her and golly what a spending spree she went on.
Great plan. Her only screw-up was doing this in Oklahoma instead of DC where Judge Boasberg could toss the charges out. Otherwise, I am in awe of the woman for fleecing liberals. Put me on the jury, she walks.
ITEM 27: Dawn Michael tweeted, “Texas homes being foreclosed mid-life right now—pizza still on the table, boxes half-packed, dead fish in tanks, Owners?
“Gone overnight after ICE deportation notices. A local loan officer says he’s suddenly handling dozens of these ghost houses every month all FHA loans. Government-backed. Taxpayer-insured.
“What I want to know is how the hell did people with no legal status and no SSN ever get federally insured FHA mortgages in the first place?”
Who sold the houses to them? Who loaned the money? Who approved the mortgages?
We all know the answer to this last question, who’s going to jail?
No one.
ITEM 28: Ford Fischer tweeted with video:
Protester at anti-Trump “FLARE” tent encampment outside DC’s Union Station berates National Guard troops, accusing them of violating the Constitution and Posse Comitatus.
The encampment activists were recently told they’d be cleared out for a DC “beautification” project.
This came hours after the funeral for Specialist Sarah Beckstrom, 20.
ITEM 29: German Foreign Minister, Annalena Baerbock, told a forum, “I will put Ukraine first no matter what my German voters think or how hard their life gets.”
Ukrainian oligarchs uber alles.
ITEM 30: Trump to Politico, “I want to run the United States. I don’t want to run Europe. I’m involved in Europe very much. NATO calls me ‘DADDY.’”
Europe reminds me of the teen driver the cop pulled over who screamed, “Do you know who my daddy is?”
Cop replied, “No. Didn’t your mother tell you?” |
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