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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato

12/16/2025 1:11:19 PM

of 6661

Acquaintance: a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

Adolescence: the stage between puberty and adultery.

Airhead: what a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a traffic cop.

Architect: one who drafts a a plan for your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Budget: a family's attempt to live below its yearnings.

Cantaloupe: having to get married in church.

Catalyst: felines’ names written in alphabetical order.

Condescend: a prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope.

Dentist: one who, while putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

Diplomacy: lying in state.

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What is a large mammal that lives in swamps and shouts obscenities?

The hippopottymouth.
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A man flashes a woman at the grocery store

She says " Oh my gosh ! Thank you ! I almost forgot to get baby carrots!

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What kind of car does a sushi chef drive?

Rolls Rice.

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What's the most annoying thing about being a necrophiliac?

Your girlfriend never returns your calls.

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