102 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars.
Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.
Oh how the stables have turned.
—
Asian equivalent of John Doe: Hu Dat.
—
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes
out the trees, then names the streets after them.
—
Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like a tampon?
In a good place but at the wrong time.
—
The french have placed battle flag on Greenland.
It is difficult to spot due to the snowy landscape.
—
I recently went to China on vacation. While
there I bought a pair of shoes.
I looked inside the shoe and the tag read, "Made Around The Corner.”
—
The entire Cleveland Browns team visited an
orphanage today.
“It’s heart-breaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jose, age 6.
—
Wilson visits the doctor.
"I just can't take it anymore, doc," he says, wincing. "I stand at the urinal for 20 minutes and nothing happens. Is there something I can take?"
"I'll tell you what you can take," the doctor snarls. "A cold dose of reality! Do you have any idea what's happening out there?! Global warming is destroying the planet! Supervolcanoes are waking from dormancy! We're on the verge of a NUCLEAR WAR, AND NOTHING CAN STOP IT!!"
Visibly shaken, Wilson looks down and realizes he's pissed his pants. Ashamed but relieved, he thanks the doctor profusely.
"No trouble at all," the doctor chuckles. "All you needed was a little dire rhetoric." |
