Don Surber
Translating Marxism into English
Today I humbly try to translate Marxist language into English.
Affordable care—Taxpayers spent $1.5 trillion on Obamacare in the past 15 years. At least half of that money went to insurance companies. The average health insurance premium doubled in that time.
Affordable housing—Taxpayers spent $1.2 trillion on housing in the past decade. At least half of that went to landlords. The average rose 66% in that time.
An unauthorized assisted suicide—Murder. Also known as the Canadian health care system.
Arrested a 5-year-old—ICE babysat a child left behind by his father, an illegal alien, who ran away from ICE agents in sub-freezing temperatures.
Assigned at birth—God assigns your sex at conception, not a doctor. The lefty phrase manages to deny the Lord, deny science and deny reality. I admire their execution of a rare triple play.
Basket of deplorables—Three words that killed Hillary’s political career.
Baseless—A legitimate claim by conservatives that does not appeal to liberals.
Body positive—Fat.
Check your privilege—Don’t play that funky music, white boy.
Cisgendered—The people who said born that way to justify homosexual activity now deny that people are born male or female.
Common sense gun control—Gun control that makes no sense at all.
Concentration camp—A phrase used to describe where ICE houses illegal aliens. It is inaccurate and anti-Semitic because it reduces the horrors Jews suffered in the Holocaust to being merely detained. This applies to lefty cries of genocide, Hitler and Nazis. If you apply a word incorrectly often enough it becomes meaningless.
Cultural appropriation—When white people try to enjoy the multiculturalism that the left pushes.
Debunked—When you fall out of your bunk bed. I used to tell my top bunking son that there was a monster under his bed: his older brother. Liberals took over this word and turned it into a word to deny reality. They have many such words because they hate reality.
Diversity—United we stand, divided we fall. Diversity divides us.
Epstein Files—The latest quest to pin a scandal on Trump, only to turn up more dirt on Horndog Clinton.
Fact-check—Something newspaper editors forgot to do on their own stories. It’s the log in their eyes.
Upgrade to paid
Fascist—Marxists use this word to describe the patriots in politics.
First Amendment—Does not apply to religion unless it is Islamic or Satanism.
Food deserts—An excuse for people to explain why food stamps are used to buy soda and candy at Kwik-E-Mart.
Free—Taxpayer paid.
Gender-affirming care—Chopping off body parts and sterilizing confused people in a manner that would make Mengele blush.
Global warming—The attempt to end Western capitalism and civilization through pseudoscience.
Hate speech—Any speech liberals hate.
Healthcare is a right—Marxists use the phrase to substitute actual God-given rights with manmade fakes.
Immigration reform—Something Reagan signed into law when we had 3 million illegals. We have 13 million today.
Inclusive—Everyone except straight white people.
Journalists—People mainstream news organizations hire who have no work ethic, no talent and no concern for the truth. But they work cheap.
Karen—Because if you call them Letitia you get cited for racism.
Lumps of cells—Surprisingly, this does not refer to the brain of your average Democrat politician. Sadly, Marxists mean babies in their mother’s womb.
MAP (minor attracted people)—Perverts who should be fed to woodchippers.
Maryland Man—A citizen of El Salvador that judges have declared is above the law of being returned to sender.
Microaggressions—Getting butt hurt by small things that were never intended to be racist, sexist, homophobic or anything else. Ignorance no longer is bliss.
Migrants—Invaders protected by states that want to fluff their population to get seats in Congress and federal money.
My body, my choice—Except when it comes to vaccines.
No one is above the law—Except illegals, journalists and Democrats.
Openly gay—Calling Buttigieg the first openly gay transportation secretary implies that Alan S. Boyd or one of the other 17 DOT secretaries before Butt Boy were gay. I am pretty sure Elizabeth Dole was straight.
Perceived enemies—People who did Trump wrong. Everyone on Nixon’s enemies list was an actual enemy of Nixon.
Pronouns—The modern equivalent of shining four lights and asking a prisoner how many lights he sees, and then shocking him when he doesn’t say five. It’s a torture that doesn’t involve water or bamboo.
Protesters—Rioters, which is the opposite of calling January 6 protesters “insurrectionists.”
Reproductive rights—A euphemism for not having babies. The right to celibacy never enters the picture.
Settled science—Richard Feynman said, “It is imperative in science to doubt; it is absolutely necessary, for progress in science, to have uncertainty as a fundamental part of your inner nature. To make progress in understanding, we must remain modest and allow that we do not know. Nothing is certain or proved beyond all doubt.”
What would the greatest physicist ever born in the USA know about science?
Silence is violence—Words are violence. Violins are violence. Everything is violence except throwing frozen bottles of ice at police officers. That’s a protest.
Stolen land—Every inch of the Earth that is not covered by water.
The Resistance—Communists trying to destroy democracy in the name of preventing its demise.
Top surgery—Cosmetic surgery for T-girls who want big boobs.
Toxic culture—Christianity.
Toxic masculinity—The stuff that found a new world, cleared the land, fought a war to end slavery and landed a man on the moon. Also used to discover electricity, land on the moon, invent trains and planes and automobiles, invent light bulbs and movies, and invent the UFC. All of this was made possible by the phrase “hold my beer.”
Transgendered—An individual confused about his sex. T-girls have many rights but their right to remain silent is seldom used.
Unhoused—A word that replaced homeless, which replaced the word vagrant, which replaced the word bum.
Wrong side of history—A statement from people who tear down statues and replace white people in historic films with black actors. |
