MST3K SEASON NINE MOVIES
Here's a list of all the movies announced for season nine so far, along with brief critical reviews of each:
901- THE PROJECTED MAN (1967, UK, Color)
Directed by Ian Curteis (appears to have been his first film, has since worked mostly in TV)
Cast:
Bryant Halliday (Dr. Vorelli of "Devil Doll"!!!! Arrrgggghhh!!)
Mary Peach ("Scrooge," "A Gathering of Eagles")
Ronald Allen ("Eat The Rich")
Norman Wooland ("Fall of the Roman Empire," "The Guns of Navarone," "Ivanhoe," "Quo
Vadis?")
Written by
Peter Bryan ("Trog," "Plague of the Zombies," "Brides of Dracula")
John C. Cooper ("First Man Into Space," "Haunted Strangler")
Music by
Kenneth V. Jones ("Horror of Snape Island" [ALSO starring Bryant Halliday!], "Who Slew
Auntie Roo?," "Battle Beneath the Earth," "Indiscreet")
Internet Movie Database:
A scientist experimenting with matter transmission from place to place by means of a laser beam suddenly decides to use himself as a test specimen. But the process goes awry, and one side of his body becomes hideously deformed and instantly lethal to anyone it touches.
All Movie Guide:
An experiment involving teleportation goes horribly awry (when a colleague sabotages the machines) leaving a scientist horribly disfigured and suffering from disturbing side effects that include madness and the ability to electrocute anything he touches.
902- THE PHANTOM PLANET
USA 1961 (Black and White)
Four Crown Productions Inc.
Directed by: William Marshall (II)
Written by: Fred De Gorter, Fred Gebhardt, William Marshall (II), William Telaak
Cast (in credits order)
Dean Fredericks.... Capt. Frank Chapman
Coleen Gray.... LiaraAnthony
Dexter.... Herron
Dolores Faith.... Zetha
Francis X. Bushman.... Sessom
Richard Kiel.... The Solanite
Internet Movie Database says:
The mysterious appearance of an unknown planet brings miniature people, giant monsters, beautiful women and undaunted heroes to the screen. The self-contained planet "Rheton" has the ability to move in and out of galaxies to escape their enemies. Earth sends an astronaut team to investigate, which discovers miniature people. One astronaut survives to help them fight off monsters and Solorite attacks.
VideoLog Summary from All Movie Guide:
It's "Gulliver's Travels" in space as an astronaut lands on an asteroid populated by 6-inch tall humanoids and must help them ward off their monster attackers. A 60' B-movie set in the future--1980!
Enjoy!
903- THE PUMA MAN (1980, Italian, made for television)
Original title: L'Uomo Puma
Directed by Alberto de Martino.
Starring: Donald Pleasence, Walter George Alton, Peter Cellier.
Internet Movie Database says:
Low-budget superhero flick about a young man given a mystical medallion by a South American shaman, in order to become a puma- empowered champion like his father before him. In trying to locate the young man initially, the shaman has the nasty habit of pushing candidates out windows to test them ("Nope, not him.")
VideoLog Summary from All Movie Guide says:
The villainous Dr. Kobras has managed to obtain a golden mask with the power t control the minds of all who gaze upon it. Only Puma Man can save the Earth from certain destruction.
904- WEREWOLF (1996)
Color
Director:
Tony Zarindast
Cast:
Joe Estevez
Jules Desjarlais
R.C. Bates
Heidi Bjorn
Randall Oliver
Nena Belini
Tony Zarindast
Richard Lynch
George Rivero
Fred Cavalli
Adrianna Miles
VideoLog Summary from All Movie Guide:
In an isolated desert community, a terrifying power fueled by the full moon transforms ordinary men into extraordinary killing beasts. Beware the howl of the lycanthrope -- the werewolf.
DTV states:
During an excavation on sacred Native American land, modern-day archeologists make a horrible discovery. None of them can act! And they also find the remains of a werewolf. A very tiny werewolf, but a werewolf all the same. This is the setup for Tony Zarindast's unbelievably bad horror film -- a futile effort lacking any sense, style, frights, story or skin (absolutely no one has to worry about getting hairy palms from this dog of a wolf flick).
And 99 Lives says:
Plot in a nutshell: The skeleton of a werewolf is unearthed and an ancient Navajo legend about shape-shifting creatures is told. We quickly discover that a scratch from the werewolf's bones is deadly, as first a supporting character (Jules Desjarlais) is transformed, followed by good-guy Paul (Fred Cavalli). As it turns out, Lynch's
character, Noel, and the scheming Yuri (George Rivero) are planning to use Paul to make their fortune by showing him to the world as a werewolf.
The reviewer goes on to give it a rating of 0.0 out a possible 5.0!
905- THE DEADLY BEES
1967 Amicus/Paramount (England)
Producers: Max J. Rosenberg, Milton Subotsky
Director: Freddie Francis
Screenwriters: Robert Bloch, Anthony Marriott
Cast:
Suzanna Leigh, Guy Doleman, Catherine Finn, Katy Wild, Frank Finlay
The Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film says:
Bee movie fans!--this one was the first. An exhausted pop singer (Suzanna Leigh) goes to a small British island to rest. Her rented cottage is on the farm of a beekeeper (Guy Doleman). A neighbor (Frank Finlay) also raises bees. Soon a dog, then a woman are found stung to death. And next the bees attack the girl.
And Leonard Maltin writes:
two stars--high powered shock scenes involving swarming bees are the only worthile attraction in horror film marred by dull script.
In other words, he thinks it's just marginally worse than "Laserblast." :-)
906- THE SPACE CHILDREN (1958, B&W)
with short: CENTURY 21 CALLING
Directed by Jack Arnold
Starring: Adam Williams, Peggy Webber, Michel Ray, Johnny Crawford, Jackie Coogan.
The Internet Movie Database says:
A glowing brain-like creature arrives on a beach near a rocket test site via a teleportation beam. The alien communicates telepathically with the children of scientists. The kids start doing the alien's bidding as the adults try to find out what's happening to their unruly offspring.
TV Guide says:
A surprisingly pacifist 1950s sci-fi film featuring a big alien brain that hides in a cave and telepathically controls the children of American nuclear missile scientists. The brain wants the children to sabotage their parents' project (the shipping of a hydrogen bom into outer space), so it compels them to spout anti-nuclear proliferation messages to their folks in the hopes that the adults will wise up and stop messing around with dangerous atoms. The parents don't pay much attention, so the kids are forced to take more severe action and physically stop the launch with the help of the giant brain.
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