Oh, God, this is so SAD! Let me see:
-Rambi is on her way to Portugal to rescue the only man she loves, Drygulch Dan, from the clutches of the evil chickentator, Juan etc. etc.;
-Dan, unbeknownst to Rambi, has already escaped the evil clutches (by repeatedly using them to brake, burning them out) and is off trying to find the Amazon Valley gold mining play;
-Juan etc. etc. is rubbing his soft, pudgy, oleaginous hands together in glee, waiting for the appearance of the Rambesque gringa, with whom (we assume) he wishes to have his way; meanwhile
-Eemerelda yadayada, Juan's esposa, has sent the kids to Ma's house in Este City while she prepares a suitable reception for Rambi, whom she fears is out to steal her hombre.
It gets no better than this. A movie resulting from this sordid yet touching screenplay would undoubtedly make the MST3K Hall of Fame.
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