RE: ***OT, humor*** The World Gone Mad
Well, folks, no sooner had I posted my rant about
my Egghead experience than I got this in an email
from a friend in New Orleans. It has nothing whatsoever
to do with Iomega, but the coincidence with my last post,
and the expressions of boredom and ennui that I've read
here lately, compel me to post it anyway. Enjoy.
No doubt this all happened right after the hotel staff
had to endure an all-day retreat for Total Quality
Management training. <g>
I'll bet my eye teeth Linda will be ROTFLOL over this
one. I know I was.
Cheers, Tom (long IOM)
------------------------------------------------------
What to do with Hotel Soap?
---------------------------
The following letters are taken from an actual incident
between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel
ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please
remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf
under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish.
They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish
as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and
put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your
mind.
This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions
from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is
satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning
the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I
found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine
cabinet.
I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought
my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which
are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth,
etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which
we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in
your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial
was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I
didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed
inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did
not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if
I can be of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that
you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid
service.
I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my
apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future
complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention.
Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the
reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little
bars of soap.
The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in
today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine
cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom
shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your
room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance,
please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my
room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and
had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.
I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our
maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service
a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my
apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and
found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay.
I want my one bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of
soap in here! All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my
bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them moved.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing
so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken
and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know
anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy,
did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays
plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this
hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory
which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap
inventory.
As of today I possess:
-On the shelf under medicine cabinet, 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 2.
-On the Kleenex dispenser, 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
-On the bedroom dresser, 1 Stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4
hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
-Inside the medicine cabinet, 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 2.
-In the shower soap dish, 6 Camay, very moist.
-On the northeast corner of tub, 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly
used.
-On the northwest corner of tub, 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the
stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that
stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip.
May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make
an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have
purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the
hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman |
