>>Lee is a hick, Im a redneck.
I'm too close to Atlanta to qualify as a hick. I drive a pick-em-up with a fully stocked toolbox, so I could qualify as a redneck. BUT! Do you qualify as white trash? I understand some folks in 'Bama are so destitute that they don't even have a SINGLE CAR to put on blocks. I'll have you know that I have a porch dog, two immobile cars, two immobile boats, a sofa on my porch and various other metallic life forms in my yard. Myrtle even has an authentic Tammy Faye wig! You should see how sexy she looks when she puts on that wig and purple mascara and has a Swisher Sweet hanging out of her mouth. Those flannel pajamas of hers are just the perfect touch to drive a man wild.
Of all my numerous possessions, I'm proudest of my lawn jockey. The neighbors just LOVE my lawn jockey, which is holding up the holy and revered flag of the Confederate States of America (Stand up, son! Show some respect). Why, the very day I put up my jockey, several people drove by and told me I was number one. Nobody much comes up to my house, though. I guess the "Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again" sign I put up for bill collectors kinda keeps 'em away.
BTW, I guess you lower-class rednecks can't afford Red Man. Only us upper-crust white trash have the means to afford such extravagances as beef jerky, moon pies, Red Man AND name-brand beer (I drink AUTHENTIC Bud). You folks farther down the social ladder can only afford Skoal (or worse), generic beer and fake moon pies. There's just something classy about a man with Red Man dribbling down his chin. |
