Ladies and Gentlemen, straight from the Shrine auditorium, The First Annual Eddie Awards........
It is good to be here, and an honor to present the awards on behalf of the Eddie Antar Academy of Criminal Malfeasance. The awards are bronze and in the shape of a camel, the means by which Amos Ahorani fled his native Israel in the middle of the night just 13 years ago.
BEST JOURNALISM ABOUT A CRIMINAL
Although their were two new nominees, Leslie Scism and Deborah Lohse of the Wall Street Journal, the award for best journalist goes to Mr. Nathan Lipson for his seminal October article chronicling Ricearoni's fleeing from his native Israel.
COMPANY WITH MOST MEMBERS OF SENIOR MANAGEMENT CHARGED WITH FRAUD BY A PRIOR EMPLOYER AND/MEMBERS WHO PERSONALLY FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY OR RAN A COMPANY THAT FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY:
The winner is.........Actrade.
Accepting the award is Amos Aharoni, looking a bit shabby in a wrinkled tux purchased at a second hand store.
BEST BEAR RAID ORCHESTRATED BY AN INTERNET PERSONALITY:
Mr. Pink
Mr. Pink would like to thank the academy for recognizing His good works. As you know, Mr. Pink has been recognized by such publications as Ha'aretz, Dow Jones Newswire, and Individual Investor and today the Wall Street Journal wrote a feature article about the controversy sparked by Pink's good works.
Mr. Pink cannot take credit for this prestigious award. He would like to thank the many affiliates, operatives, analysts, members of the federal witness protection program, Israeli citizens, associates, made men, federal agents, state regulators and others that have made it possible for Mr. Pink to gather and disseminate so much information. A lot of hard work has gone into this effort and the job is only half done. If you don't mind Mr. Pink and the Pinkettes would like to sing an old favorite around these parts:
Tie a yellow ribbon 'cross the Actrade doors,
The crims are inside,
Faces smashed to the floor,
Oh Spazz and Rice are goin' for a nice long ride.
Thank you and in particular Mr. Pink would like to give this award to His sainted mother, Mrs. Pink without whom none of this would be possible. Wherever you are, Mom, Mr. Pink loves you.
NOW FOR THE BEST HOAX PERPETRATED BY A FORMER COSMETOLOGIST:
Darby MacFarlane for convincing people that CCSI with no revenues and run out of an apartment house far up on Manhattan's upper east side has a legitimate product and is worth its $200 Million market cap.
Darby, looking marvelous in a color coordinated outfit, comes up and accepts the award.
And a summary of the secondary awards:
Worst research report: Milton Puryear for his recent report that failed to deduct tax expense in his financial projections. Sorry Karl, better luck next year.
Biggest Charlatan on the SI thread: This one was tough but the winner is
Davef for the incessant drivel that he spews, his constant lies and his regurgitation of Actrade party line and for the abscence of a single original thought and for the small sums of money he is paid directly from Actrade to supplement the tips he earns as a lavatory attendant. Congratulations, Davef.
See you all at the L.A. County Jail, for the after party.
Mr. Pink, Master of Ceremonies |
