Oh I am, I am a bad mother like you! I feel sure that the one suspect Satanist here is I. No one else offered any proof at all.
And I have MORE!!!!
One Christmas (oh when I consider the irony) Ammo got a Ouija board. I admit it-we said it was from Santa-but we LIED! I, bad satanic mother, bought it myself at WalMart, that infamous den of iniquity! Then we all-- yes, mother, father, and children,the horror, I know, but I am swept away on a wave of remorse leading to compulsive confession here--we sat there with our fingers on the little planchette, asking questions. But nothing happened, so we kept making the questions easier and easier. Like, "Are you dead?" I mean, how dumb can a ghost be? It was so boring, I finally started pushing the thing around, sending really cool messages. I told Ammo he'd be an NBA All-star and that CW would buy out Bill Gates.
Ammo said, "Mom, quit pushing. You're ruining it."
CW said, "This is so stupid. My fingers are tired."
The board is upstairs gathering dust in the closet. Sometimes at night I can hear it calling, calling, but it's too late. Modern children want immediate results, they want the board to move by itself, perhaps an updated computerized version with voice recognition, but I fear the days of old-fashioned spirit possession are over- they just didn't keep up with the times and their stock has gone penny. |
