Hi Jim. Wow, what a Barron (pun intended) thread <g>. I guess I'll have to contribute "something".
Okay, how about some Chicken Philosophy 101:
---------------------------------------------------
The "main question":
"WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"
(Here's some intelligent answers IMO (like we're "all" looking for in this great mystery of life ((and methods for increasing revenue) .... <g>))
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would
let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it f___ing wanted to. That's the f___ing
reason.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road
was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced
with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies
required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a
partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by
rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped
the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and
experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in
support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts
and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in
the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of
meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both
tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in
order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully
architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting
was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built
upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with
the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive
towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more
successful.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him
down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will
be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into
question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
BILL CLINTON: I did not have an improper relationship with that
chicken.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive
there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross
roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it
transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Yep, I just loved MSFT's pre-announce, and ORCL ain't doin' too bad either.
Regards,
Joe...<G>
Happy Brainshare!!! |
