<<<Way, Way OT, Embarassingly So, Caution...>>>
So, you want to be a guru on a particular SI thread? COME ON,
you KNOW you do. Not this thread mind you... we're all just mucking
around here. Here's some quick--actually, in hindsight,
not-so-quick--tips on GURU-dom...
Lesson #1: OBJECTS APPEAR LARGER ON THREAD THAN IN REAL
LIFE. You can be anybody here in cyber-land. (Thus, there
are 40-year-old men lurking in AOL chat rooms, pretending
to be 14-year-old pre-operative transsexuals named Cinnamoan.)
So, the first rule is LIE like the big dog you are. Make
up an amazing and remarkable life for yourself... preferably
not something TOO EXTRAORDINARY. I mean, don't begin your
posts with "As CEO of SEEK..." or "As a working Pope during
the Byzantine Era...". You might even try lie-ing in the
opposite direction, appearing to be a pauper who just happens
to have a 56K modem and Pentium II Dell and somebody else's
credit card to buy an SI membership. But, the point is, don't
tell the truth, except as a way to enhance credibility. Concede
small missteps but always appear to come out VICTORIOUS and
SURPASSING WISE in the end.
Lesson #2: YOU MUST KILL TO BE LOVED. Guru-dom cannot be
bloodless. I mean, sometimes there may be a pretender to
the throne. Or, let's say you've blundered into a well-established
thread with a KING or QUEEN holding court. You gotta cut'em.
But, you can't cut'em directly. Or their minions will swamp
you. So, review Lesson #1: LIE. If they have a stated holding
of 10,000 shares, trump them with 50,000 shares. If they have
Level II, allude to the existence of super-secret Level III--which consists
of a prescient-time synaptic link to the Market Makers, allowing
you insights into their moves--including choices for dinner--
before they make them. However, start seeding doubts about
the wisdom of certain of the OLD KING or OLD QUEEN's choices.
Example: "I don't know about that, Steve. You MAY be right.
Only time will tell." Eventually, you will prevail... if only because folks listen
to folks who have 50,000 shares.
Lesson #3: POST AT LEAST ONCE A DAY, BUT NOT MORE THAN THREE
TIMES A DAY. Attention span is
a pretty tricky thing these days. (See under CRACK NIGHT IN FERRET
HUT.) If you go for too long
a time without posting, folks forget. However, if you
post more than three times a day, folks will get the feeling
you're not really EMPLOYED anywhere. (This is a dual-edged
sword. Many thread-izens defer to, and secretly envy,
those PROFESSIONAL TRADERS who CAN post more than three times
a day. Even if the posts are as ephemerally valuable as BID
and ASK sizes at 10:37 a.m. EST.) I suppose, the real issue is WHAT YOU POST. For
example, posting "Hey! WOWWWEEWWWOWWWWOWWW!" or "This SUCKS!"
more than three times a day, would get, well, irritating.
Lesson #4: KEEP THREE OF EVERY FOUR POSTS SHORT AND AUTHORITATIVE. Example:
After three days of a downtrend in a given stock, chime
in, "Three-day downtrend. Looks over-sold. Watch for
MM games. Volume will pick up, eventually. Have added
15,000 to my position as of this afternoon. Spoke with
IR: usual happy hype, but hint of new deal. Major telecom
provider."
Lesson #5: TAKE A VACATION IN THE MIDDLE OF SERIOUS AND
UNPREDICTABLE ACTION. People love confidence. Let them
know you can walk away from the table. Claim to be flying
to Xihuatanejo or Costa Del Sol for two weeks. You will
be talked about. Especially if your bon voyage post is
something like, "Not certain of current direction. Took
some off the table. Going to Spain for two weeks."
***************************
|
