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Technology Stocks : Ascend Communications (ASND)

ASND 210.44

-3.1%

11:42 AM EST

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To: David Lawrence who wrote (43767)	4/11/1998 3:28:00 PM
From: username	Read Replies (3) of 61433

OT What your car says about you: Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars Acura NSX - I am impotent, and I don't care Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people's eardrums Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis Chevrolet El Camino - I thought it was a real truck Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather Datsun 240Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car Dodge Viper - Sorry, gotta go. Bye. Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate, and I don't care Ford Cobra - Does it look like I care what you think? Ford Explorer - I will not be caught dead in a mini van Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart) Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them. Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall. Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall. Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports. Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp. Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle, and I don't care Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers Mercury Grand Marquis - Watch my taillights. really, I mean it. Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler MGB - I am dating a mechanic Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a tiny weenie and I don't care. Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tahd bit too liberal Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic) Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu Toyota Camry - I am still picking up the parts that fell off. Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife

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