You have got to be, without a doubt, the worst stockpicker I know... and
I know some doozies!! How do you do it? What's your secret? In the bull market
of the century, how can you possibly get eight out of ten dead wrong? Your
consistency is also remarkable... whether you go long or you go short,
"treats" turn into disasters. You are the "Earthquake", "Towering Inferno",
"Poseidon Adventure", "Airport" and "Titanic" of the stock investment
world, all rolled into one. The waters of disastrous stockpicking you are
traveling are truly unchartered. My hats off to you Stagger Lee. In a world
dominated by mediocre and the unremarkable you are the exception. Living proof
that with effort, patience, and an unrelenting desire, we too can reach the
abysmal depths of absolute, total and complete failure. All one has to do to
see the totality of your errors, is to filp your long and short positions
around. Do that and you are handily ahead of the roaring bull. May your
inspiring streak of disastrous picks continue for the liquidity you are providing the
markets is a great and selfless act of love towards your fellow investors.
On behalf of all of us investors who have decided to make money instead of
giving it away, thank you for your generosity.
SP500 15.69%
SOL500 -23.50%
Difference 39.19%
Price Price
on on Current
Ticker Recomm 12/31/97 Investment Shares 4/17/98 Value Gain/Loss Return
IIVI Long 23.75 $1,000 42.1 18.5 $778.95 ($221.05) -22.11%
WTT Long 6.625 $1,000 150.9 5.8125 $877.36 ($122.64) -12.26%
ADMG Long 3.375 $1,000 296.3 2.96875 $879.63 ($120.37) -12.04%
TLDCF Long 19 $1,000 52.6 13.75 $723.68 ($276.32) -27.63%
FSCNY Long 4.375 $1,000 228.6 5.375 $1,228.57 $228.57 22.86%
EGRP Short 23 $1,000 43.5 22.5625 $980.98 $19.02 1.90%
YHOO Short 66 $1,000 15.2 121.5 $1,840.91 ($840.91) -84.09%
ONSL Short 17 $1,000 58.8 28.375 $1,669.12 ($669.12) -66.91%
THQI Short 22.5 $1,000 44.4 28 $1,244.44 ($244.44) -24.44%
MCOM Short 9.75 $1,000 102.6 10.75 $1,102.56 ($102.56) -10.26%
PORTFOLIO $10,000 ($2,350) -23.50%
SP500 970.43 $10,000 10.3 1122.72 $11,569.30 $1,569.30 15.69%
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