Jim,
Just thought you might like this joke about God changing
the admittance policy. Don't read too much into it.
This one's for Surfer Mike too.
Greg
===========================================
It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to
change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order
to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day
you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the
following day.
So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates
of Heaven. The angel at the gate, remembering about new
law, promptly asked the man, "before I can let you in, I
need you to tell me about the day you died."
"No problem." said the man. "Well, for some time now, I've
thought my wife was having an affair. I believed that each
day on her lunch hour, she'd bring her lover home to our
25th floor apartment and have sex with him. So today I was
going to come home too, and catch them. Well, I got there
and busted in and immediately began searching for this guy.
My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the
entire apartment. But, damn it, I couldn't find him! Just
when I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto
the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the
edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy to think he
could hide from me! Well I ran out there and promptly
stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But,
wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes that broke
his fall, and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more
so in a rage went back inside to get the first thing I could
get my hands on to throw at him. And oddly enough, the
first thing I could grab was the refrigerator. I unplugged
it, pushed it out onto the balcony and heaved it over the
side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The
excitement of the moment was so great that right after that,
I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The angel sat back and thought for a moment. Technically,
the guy DID have a bad day and it WAS a crime of passion. So
he announced, "Ok, sir, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,"
and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. "Ok, here's the
rule. Before I can let you in, I need to hear about the day
you died."
"Sure thing", the man replied. "But you're not gonna believe
this. I was out on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment
doing my daily exercises when I got a little carried away
and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily however, I was
able to catch myself by my fingertips on the balcony
directly beneath mine. When all of a sudden this crazy man
comes running out of his apartment and starts cussing and
stomping on my fingers! Well of course I fall. I hit some
trees and bushes on the way down which broke my fall. So I
didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the
ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see the
man push his refrigerator, of all things, over the ledge and
it falls directly on top of me and kills me!"
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes
his story. "I could get used to this new policy", he thinks
to himself. "Very well", the angel announces. Welcome to the
Kingdom of Heaven, and lets the man enter.
A few seconds later a third man comes up to gate. "Tell me
about the day you died.", said the angel. "Ok. Picture
this," says the man. "I'm naked inside a refrigerator...." |
