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Pastimes : The New Judge Bleonard's Assorted Reef Life&Bottom Feeders
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To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (67)4/25/1998 10:00:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte  Read Replies (2) of 174
 
You actually got me searching "putrefaction". Most of what I found was adulation for a group called Carcass, most of whose song titles read like phrases from a bad horror novel.

A buddy who knows a San Fran policeman told me a story which rates high in Judge Bleonard content. It involves our captivating City by the Bay and two of its more sexually iconoclastic residents. It appears Contestant No. 1 decided that a frozen trout (from a recent weekend in the gold country) oughtta make a dandy sensual aid for his boyfriend. They gave it the old college try. Trouble is that once subjected to the heat of the moment, the ichthyerotic appliance began to thaw. This made the scales and fins come undone from the trout's body. As the fish was pressed into service headfirst, Contestant No. 2 was in quite a fix, with the finny half a (cold, thawing) fish protruding from his anus. The panicked friend called 911, who sent the aforementioned officer to investigate. He was taking in this surreal tableau when his older partner made it up the stairs and saw what the ruckus was about.
With a sense of humor which has been ruthlessly purged from our modern class of uniformed public servants, Old Cop declared:
"Son, you have got to learn to chew your food better!"
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