Darrell: Since it's Sunday and I know you attend church functions, I thought you might like this:
Word processing is great but you still have to be careful what you say!
This week's humor has to do with what has been published in church
bulletins. Such as:
- Thursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.=20
- Thursday at 5 PM, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers =20
Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister
in his private study. =20
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.=20
- The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of =20
David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.=20
- This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends =20
of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.=20
- Tuesday at 4 PM, there will be an ice-cream social. All ladies =20
giving milk please come early.=20
- Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will =20
sing "Put Me In My Little Bed," accompanied by the Pastor.=20
- This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and
lay an egg on the altar.=20
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. =20
Music will follow.=20
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is =20
Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.=20
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.=20
Please use large double door at the side entrance.=20
- The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11. =20
- Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary. =20
- Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of =20
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.=20
- The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys =20
sinning to join the choir.=20
- The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the =20
ladies will start (quietly), and the rest of the congregation will =20
join in.=20
- Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost =20
of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new =20
carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper. =20
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and =20
they may be seen in the church basement Friday.=20
- Please join us to show our support for Amy and Alan, who is =20
preparing for the girth of their first child.=20
- The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes,
green beans, and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.=20
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign =20
slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours."=20 |
