Pinky's Tailing Box: a weekly Wednesday feature of At a Bottom Now for Gold...
BREAKING NEWS: Gates' Windows '98 surpised by latest
product announcement of competitor Whirlwind Graphics...
"Hello, I am your Al '98 personal, digital/memory computer...
I'm programmed to have an opinion for every subject, an answer for every question. I am user friendly...Please insert 50 cents...beep--bleep--bleep..."
"Hello, I am your Al '98 personal digital/memory compu...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...Thank you for your patronage.
Please enter your inquiry into my keyboard..."
WHAT-ARE-YOU-FEELING?
...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit..."Syntax error...Syntax error...
Keyboard scan indicates improper capitalization. Please correct...Please continue..."
What-are-you-feeling-?
"Memory scan engaged...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...I am incapable
of integumentary sensory data reception. Preliminary response to inquiry: nothing."
....bleep--bleep--bleep...
"Hello, I am your Al '98 personal digital/memo...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...Thank you for your
patronage. Please enter your inquiry into my keyboard..."
W-h-a-t--i-s--g-o-i-n-g--t-h-r-o-u-g-h--y-o-u-r--h-e-a-d--r-i-g-h-t--n-o-w-?
"Memory scan engaged...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...Preliminary response to your inquiry: 110 volts of electricity on a direct current power source feeds through my terminal head."
...bleep--bleep--bleep...
"Hello, I am your Al '98 personal digi...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...Thank you for your patronage.
Please enter your inquiry into my keyboard..."
W-h-a-t--i-s--y-o-u-r--s-t-a-t-e--o-f--m-i-n-d-?
"Memory scan engaged...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...The term
"mind" refers the human brain wherein the processes of thought, imagination, and memory originate. Of these processes, I am
capable of memory only. Preliminary response to inquiry: my
memory circuit apparatus and storage banks are presently located
in the state of Wisconsin."
"Hello, I am your Al 98...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...Thank you
for your patronage. Please enter your inquiry into my keyboard..."
Y-o-u--a-r-e--t-h-e--s-t-u-p-i-d-e-s-t--c-o-m-p-u-t-e-r--I--h-a-v-e--
e-v-e-r--u-s-e-d.--W-h-a-t--d-o--y-o-u--t-h-i-n-k--o-f--t-h-a-t-?
"Memory scan engaged...dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...And you are the stupidest human I have ever used--none of the other ones lost more than a buck fifty in reaching your conclusion..."dit-dit-dit-dit-dit...bleep--bleep--bleep...
From the Tailing Box...
Dear At a Bottom Now for Gold:
Do you see any potential brewing in the coffee market?
--Filtering New Investments
Dear Fil:
Coffee can be the grounds for an investment with hot returns
provided all 535 empty coffered members of Congress don't simultaneously spill some on their laps. --Whirlwind
Dear Pinky's Tailing Box:
My dog refuses to eat my Zappa certificates. I didn't
know that animals could laugh. Even Larry Johnson and
Alonzo Mourning don't want them. Please advise.
Sincerely, --giveawaydaranch@gerry.com
Dear giveawaydaranch@gerry.com:
Several points. A. If you hadn't given away your Ranch dressing,
your dog may have eaten the Zappa certificates in a spring salad.
B. Actually, my dog laughs every morning when I show him a picture
of Ed Koch. C. You weren't aware that Alonzo's last name wasn't changed to "Mourning" until after he stuck half his first NBA
contract into Zappa?
PS. For tips on salad making, tune in to your local cable kitchen channel to the Galloping GerryMae. -- Alonzo Whirlwind
Got some questions on the PM's? Pinky's Tailing Box has answers. E-mail the Whirlwind at whirlwindbuyszappa@mindless.com |
