Ron, I am glad we still have our sense of humor intact!
ANOTHER BOGUS PRESS RELEASE
Greano Names R.R. Junkyard Dog of the Year
COMPANY CONFORMED NAME: GREEN OASIS ENVIRONMENTAL INC
CENTRAL INDEX KEY: 0000914257
STANDARD INDUSTRIAL CLASSIFICATION: MOTOR VEHICLES & PASSENGER CAR BODIES [3711]
IRS NUMBER: 570970282
STATE OF INCORPORATION: FL
FISCAL YEAR END: 1231
sec.gov
In an emotional presentation this evening at the corporation's junkyard complex headquarters, "Ruff Ruff" (R.R. for short), the Parched Oasis (new corporate name) favorite German Shepherd, was presented with the prestigious "Junk Yard Dog of the Year" award by the company president, Mr Bill Carry-The-Money-Away. "We felt it important to show our shareholders that in spite of severe economic hardship and a gigantic conspiracy against us by the Military-Industrial-Government complex, that we will continue to persevere within our constrained budget (sorry we can't afford a stock-holders meeting this year), even if I have to pay for this trophy and the accompanying raw filet mignon out of my own $1,000,000-plus in profits from insider stock sales! ...Excuse me for a minute, I have to close a deal on this old Corvair chassis..."
"Ok, where was I? Oh yes. R.R. has been a faithful and loyal member of our GRNO family since we threw him a nice juicy bone late last year. A large and powerful beast of above average intelligence, R.R. has a friendly disposition and is quite well-mannered unless provoked -- then WATCH OUT! He has been know to repel the most aggressive and bold trespassers and intruders with his menacing bark. We hope he stays around as long as possible. But time passes quickly for a dog and he could run out of patience with his master -- you know the two years he has been with us is fourteen dog years! But, I digress. Thank you R.R....hey, get down...stop humping my leg!"
Parched Oasis sells junk that doesn't work, preferably to out-of-towners.
SOURCE: Parched Oasis Satirical Press Release Group |
