Hello Penni ! Please pass onto Dan a part of a dictionary I found,
he may find it useful <G>
ARREST, v.t. Formally to detain one accused of unusualness.
God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
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BIGOT, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.
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CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. also One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
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COWARD, n. One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
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DEGENERATE, adj. Less conspicuously admirable than one's ancestors.
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DELIBERATION, n. Carried on mostly by politicians,
Is the act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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DESTINY, n. A tyrant's authority for crime and fool's excuse for failure.
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DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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EDUCATION, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
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ELOQUENCE, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.
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EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
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EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
Following is an extract from an old book entitled, The Lunarian Astonished -- Pfeiffer & Co., Boston, 1803:
LUNARIAN: Then when your Congress has passed a law it goes
directly to the Supreme Court in order that it may at once be
known whether it is constitutional?
TERRESTRIAN: O no; it does not require the approval of the
Supreme Court until having perhaps been enforced for many
years somebody objects to its operation against himself -- I
mean his client. The President, if he approves it, begins to
execute it at once.
LUNARIAN: Ah, the executive power is a part of the legislative.
Do your policemen also have to approve the local ordinances
that they enforce?
TERRESTRIAN: Not yet -- at least not in their character of
constables. Generally speaking, though, all laws require the
approval of those whom they are intended to restrain.
LUNARIAN: I see. The death warrant is not valid until signed by
the murderer.
TERRESTRIAN: My friend, you put it too strongly; we are not so
consistent.
LUNARIAN: But this system of maintaining an expensive judicial
machinery to pass upon the validity of laws only after they
have long been executed, and then only when brought before the
court by some private person -- does it not cause great
confusion?
TERRESTRIAN: It does.
LUNARIAN: Why then should not your laws, previously to being
executed, be validated, not by the signature of your
President, but by that of the Chief Justice of the Supreme
Court?
TERRESTRIAN: There is no precedent for any such course.
LUNARIAN: Precedent. What is that?
TERRESTRIAN: It has been defined by five hundred lawyers in three
volumes each. So how can any one know?
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To be continued.
Jim
PS;
We go about asking people who have lived so long how they have done so.
They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits,
but in spite of them.
The reason we find only robust persons doing these things is that
the practices have killed all the others who have tried it.
<G>
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