Engineering humor:
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic
This is forwarded from a UO graduate, citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's
final test questions for his final exam of 1997. Dr. Schlambaugh of
the U. of Oklahoma Chemical Engineering Dept. is known for asking
questions on his finals like: "Why do airplanes fly?"
In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat, and Mass Transfer II" final exam
question
was:
"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or
some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If
they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving?
I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it does
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
that
exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more
than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.
With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the
number
of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate
of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for
the
temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the
mass
of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
[A1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which
souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
[A2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa
Banyan during freshman year, that, "It'll be a cold day in Hell before
I
sleep with you," and taking into account that I still have not
succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be true.....thus,
Hell is exothermic."
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A. |
