SATAN USES INTERNET, CAUSES STOCKS TO DROP
Belial News Wire - June 9, 1996:
Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, today admitted that he was behind the internet postings that caused sudden declines in the prices of several Very Legit BB Stocks.
Speaking from his headquarters in West Palm Beach, Florida, he said, "My associates were very active yesterday. They were on the SI threads of several BB stocks, posting messages that in fact contain secret hexagrams. These are ancient curses, hidden deep in the text of the post, that literally force the price of the stock down."
"The poor schnooks who buy this carp love to blame the Market Makers, but they just don't get it. These messages cause the MM's to totally lose their free will. A seemingly harmless post, like "When is earnings?", causes the MM to become a brainless zombie, and to drop the bid at once. Funniest thing I've ever seen!"
"Oh, did you know I am going to be on Rukeyser's show in a couple of weeks? I can't tell you what I am going to recommend, of course, but my two favorite stocks right now are MO and ZITL, wink, wink!" |
