COMS & the Ghost of USRX w/ other STUFF Message Board

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Technology Stocks : COMS & the Ghost of USRX w/ other STUFF

COMS 0.00130

-58.1%

Nov 14 9:30 AM EST

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To: Druggist who wrote (16044)	6/12/1998 10:07:00 PM
From: David Lawrence	Read Replies (3) of 22053

Being in the numbers profession, I couldn't help but be humored by these: Accountant Humor What's the definition of an accountant? - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. What's the definition of a good tax accountant? - Someone who has a loophole named after him. When does a person decide to become an accountant? - When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker. What does an accountant use for birth control? - His personality. What's an extroverted accountant? - One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own. What's an auditor? - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. Why did the auditor cross the road? - Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year. There are three kinds of accountants in the world: those who can count and those who can't. How do you drive an accountant completely insane? - Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? - Depreciation. An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

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