Pinky's Tailing Box, in conjunction with At a Bottom Now for Gold, presents...
"Oro" is Spanish for Gold, OR The Avoirdupois of Oz...
I bought 5000 shares of Zappa at .50 a share--did I ever get bit by your dog. This court injunction gives me the right to the warrants you put up as collateral.
I'm sorry Dorassay, Oro will have to go or the Central Bank of Kansas will foreclose on the farm.
Uncle Spendfree, a whirlwind is coming!
You mean that clown from the At a Bottom now for Gold travelling show is here?
No, it's just a level F-4 cyclone.
Quick, get the cattle out of the barn!
Don't have to, Hillary took delivery on them this morning.
Where's Dorassay?
Too late--we must take shelter.
#
Uncle Spendfree, Aunt Gem, where are you? Oh-h-h! Ah-h-h!
#
Uh-h-h-h...what? Where are we Oro? Why look, it's a stock market bubble!
I'm Gwendolyn, the good witch of the North. You dropped your house on the YK2 Glitch of the West. Here, take her silver slippers. Beware her sister, the Nikkei'd witch of the East.
POOF! And here I am--give me my sister's slippers!
Don't give up your silver--it must be very valuable or Buffett wouldn't want it so badly. Begone Nikkei before you tank like your sister.
Very well, but I'll be back. POOF!
Good witch, I only want to return to Kansas with Oro.
Then follow the yellow brick road to Oz.
But I'm too lazy to walk that far.
Then follow the goldbrick road.
#
The road forks here, Oro. In which way should we invest?
Try money market funds. No, precious metals.
Who said that?
I did, I'm Scared Dough.
I didn't know money could talk. But why aren't you recommending Mutual funds or stocks on the S&P?
Because I haven't got a brain. I wouldn't even make a good bear--see all those stock market birds in my field eating their share of my corn? They're not afraid at all.
Why, if we had bearish Scared dough's like you back home, Kansas wheat would be limit down. I'm going to Oz to find a stock market wizard who can get me back to Kansas. I'm sure he can help you with a brain.
#
Why, Scared Dough, look--it's a tin man!
O-h-h-h, thank you for lubricating me. I got caught out in a storm and rusted.
But why weren't you holding any oil?
I dumped all my oil stocks when Elaine Garzarelli gave her big sell signal.
Where are you invested now?
In CD's.
But why doesn't your portfolio consist of 50% US equities, 25% foreign equities and 25% high grade government and or municipal bonds, as Bob Brinker has recommended, dollar cost averaging into a current market surfeit with rich valuations and high PE ratios?
Because I haven't got the heart to buy and hold stocks.
We're going to see the stock market Wizard of Oz. Maybe he can get you a heart.
#
Oh my, this forest is thick and the investment outlook is dark. There aren't any wild animals, are there?
Just hurt Asian Tigers and bears.
Hurt Asian Tigers and bears, oh my! Hurt Asian Tigers and bears, oh my!
R-O-A-R-!!!!!!
You leave my dog Oro alone, you big coward!
You're right, gold sure has been a dog...er...I mean I sure am a coward. I bought a hundred shares of Intel and Microsoft and couldn't sleep for weeks so I went into cash.
But why didn't you buy a five star rated mutual or index fund or at least some Ginnie Maes?
Because because I haven't got the courage.
We're going to see the stock market Wizard of Oz, perhaps he can give you some courage.
I see you've found some friends to help you? Just as well, ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Who's she?
The Nikkei'd witch of the East. She wants my silver slippers.
Well, Mr. Tin Man, I think I'll make you into a piggybank and plink you full of Susan B. Anthony dollars. And you Mr. Lion, I think I'll make you Governor of Arkansas. And as for you, Scared Dough, have any money to burn? Have a little fire!!!
Help Dorassay! I'm stuffed with cash!
Go away you mean old witch!
I'll get you, my pretty, and the little POG too! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! POOF!
#
There it is! The Emerald City! Wow, look at all these beautiful poppies. I'm sleepy.
I'm roaring for a few winks myself.
Boo hoo, we were so close.
Stop crying--you'll rust.
Wait--it's snowing!
Roar, snore--huh? Unusual weather were having.
Must be El Nino.
#
Bring me the broomstick of the Nikkei'd Witch of the East and I shall grant your requests. The Great and powerful Avoirdupois of Oz has spoken.
#
Run! We're being attacked by the flying five dogs of the Dow!
Oh no--we're short Dorassay.
#
Give me your slippers now or Oro dies!
But the NY Times just published an article that gold was already dead as an investment.
A-a-a-h-h!!! I should have known that an innocent girl from Kansas bullish on the stock market would not have any silver to give me.
Run, Oro, run!
Your little spot won't make it past $315 an oz. And as for you little girl, when the sand runs through the hourglass, the stock market will crash!
#
Look, it's Oro. He's going to take us to Dorassay.
#
We got into the castle--now what?
I hear Dorassay crying--use your ax!
CHOP CHOP CHOP.
On the door stupid, not on the CEO of Sunbeam.
Quick Dorassay, come with us.
Where do we go?
Up here!
We're cornered.
Who'll be first? How about a little more fire for Scared Dough?
A-a-a-h-h-h! I'm burning!
S-P-L-A-S-H!
Dorassay--the Nikkei just got splashed!
I'm melting...
Wow. Nikkei'd lost her shirt.
Buy US stocks and bonds instead,
the Nikkei'd witch of the East is dead...
#
From the Tailing Box...
Dear Whirlwind:
Hi. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas. What's your angle on Kansas City wheat? --D.G.
Dear Dorothy:
Hi, I'm Alan Gust from Wisconsin. Try milk futures instead. --Whirlwind
Dear Whirlwind:
I know very well what a clutz you are with investments, so when you bought Zappa me and my dog shorted it all the way down to fifteen cents and made a killing. I Guess it takes a little longer for boys, huh? --Your Pen Pal, Calamity
Dear Calamity:
westol.com --Whirlwind
Have any questions on PMs? E-mail the Whirlwind at whirlwindbuyszappa@mindless.com |
