Compared to what I've been reading on the MTEI thread this week, you are an absolute model of decorum, a paragon of propriety, a bastion of beauteous breeding. Even when standing over a compost heap communing with nature and your own biological functions, you are impressively elegant.
I am ashamed to admit I succumbed (Well, Thomas did too!!!) and posted there last night. But I know you'll understand that the provocation was severe. (MIDIEVAL!! Someone wrote MIDieval!!!)
I repent. It was beneath me. Watching the thread denizens' brains liquefy under exposure to Janice and jhild was terrible and awesome. It humbled me to realize how close we all are to bestiality, what a slight distance we have crawled from the slime. Layer after layer of civilization was stripped from their personalities and in only a few days, my monitor dripped with their venomous saliva as they spewed forth bargain basement abuse, disgusting gossip, pure desperation fiction. And it was fascinating reading. Really-and I didn't even have to stand in the grocery line and read it surreptitiously the way I do the National Inquirer.
Of course, I would never spread such vile rumors although I did wonder if you knew Janice and jhild are Siamese twins? Not to worry- Janice is really a male--so no hanky panky. They live with Dennis Rodman and Boy George in Canada and they all sleep together in a giant wedding dress. And sometimes they all get in bed with SI---the whole staff! Including several major brokerage houses and almost everyone on the staff of the WSJ. My dear, it's m‚nage … multitude! And almost all of them Kiss and Tell. Thank god. Or where would we get our facts?
You probably realize by now-how could you not? that this is a giant conspiracy aimed at the population of West Virginia.
Now I admit I may not feel quite as secure with these next facts as the preceding-but I believe that the reason the SEC hasn't arrested them all is because the Supreme Court has was not happy when certain parties violated Janice's privacy and revealed that she is bifacial.
You just can't go around saying these things. It's all so shabby.
Of course, I would never want to be a part of such crude and coarse gossip and innuendo. But I know you would never tell a soul.
Mon cher! I know Jacques! Such a dear boy. |
