Maurice, saying that men have a feminine side is just a bit of pop-psych jargon, but a short-cut for what I really mean that most people do at least understand. That's why I use the term here.
I would agree with you that a murderer is probably male, but that almost everything else we assume about the differences between male and female is grossly generalized. I guess I would say that men feel more in control of themselves when the rational side is on the front lines. They don't realize, as you rightly point out, that if they don't deal with their feelings adequately they might just burst into tears in the middle of a long distance phone call or something!! How embarrassing for a he-man!!!
Women tend to feel more comfortable in the world of feelings. Most women have to steel themselves, I think, to be extremely rational all the time. I know I do. I don't like the masculine energy I have to use to work outside the home or handle my investments. It doesn't feel natural. I want to be barefooted in the kitchen cooking something and waiting for my guy to come home, at which point I hope we will have a LOT of feelings!!
I think these differences developed as men and women needed to have different skills in order to survive. Men had to be rational in order to seek out and kill animals larger than themselves. They needed to be calm in times of great danger. Hence, the men with more of these skills survived, and they are us!! Or you, rather.
Women needed to attract, satisfy and nurture a very good hunter, make him happy to hang out around the campfire. This requires using feelings, not thoughts. Opposite poles attract!! These hairy cave guys needed what was missing from themselves!!! Seduction, soft curves and big sexy lips and hips. And the women needed food and protection. Then once everyone mated there were plenty of babies and children, and almost all of child-rearing is based on feelings for women, who are the primary nurturers--literally wrapping your baby in your love until it gradually unfolds away from you into an independent being.
So while there are plenty of male nurses, women chemists, all sorts of people challenging the rules, as there always have been, the generalizations work for the most part. I think men who show the feeling side of themselves end up a lot happier and getting more sex or something!! Women are excited by men who can nurture well, cry when their feelings are very intense, be honest and direct and open. Talk about aphrodisiacs!!!! Too bad more men don't understand that. I think you do, though.
Christine |
