Steve,
Thank you for your thoughtful posting. You obviously spent a lot of time putting it together, and the spelling and well-formed sentences are a tribute to the effort that you put into it. Despite your well-argued position, I do have one or two little quibbles with one of your points, namely:
>>>I was visualizing you with a propeller beanie and slide rule. LOL
Apparently you are implying that there's something humorous or odd about wearing a propeller beanie or using a slide rule! Nothing can be further from the truth, and I resent the implication.
Personally I'm PROUD that I taught myself how to use a slide rule back in high school. You may think that this makes me odd, or a suitable object for you to ridicule, but you are sorely mistaken. When the Y2K rolls around and all of the computers in the world stop working, my slide rule skills will be in great demand!!! THEN YOU WILL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
Now as for the Beanie hat with propeller well that's where the real opportunity lies, but obviously you are too dull-witted to have figured it out. Only a truly inspired genius such as myself can make such great leaps in the history of civilization possible. I am sure that you will not understand the technology or the economics behind this great invention, but I will not explain this valuable invention to you in hopes that you can gain some insight into how we genii function.
First, I have applied some modern enhancements to the basic beanie and propeller that you might be thinking of, perhaps from your child hood. I have replaced the standard issue plastic propeller with a more suitable carbon fibre composite one, with much larger diameter and much higher efficiency. Of course I had to replace the cloth beanie with one manufactured from 3/16" of fibre glass (the chin straps are kevlar of course). The fibre glass is required to handle the torque from the propeller, and also to support the weight of the generator (which is made from powdered metal so that it is quite light). The batteries are designed to fit around the ankles and about the waist. Of course, the batteries are super light weight batteries, so the whole thing is not too heavy. So as I walk around, the propellor spins generating many many megawatts of power over its lifetime. My offices are in one of the top floors of a large skyscraper, so I usually just leave my unit on the roof while I'm at work. It sits up there in the high winds selling electricity into the grid while I slave away. Then I jog home, again generating the electricity electricity to power my notebook, cell phone, cell modem, and personal entertainment system (I like to surf the net while I jog).
Besides, I am combining making $$$$$ with exercise and surfing the net, so an extra 20 or 30 lbs isn't that much to carry. I sell the excess power to my local utility (prices hit $4000 US per MW last week!) at incredible profit.
Of course I have patents applied for on this technology, so no one can copy me and I will OWN this segment of the independent power generation market. If I can figure out how to work neural networks into this thing somehow, then this thing will be PURE GOLD!. I hope to take this idea public, on the NASDAQ BB, probably at the start of the second quarter of 1999. I shouldn't get in trouble for sharing this information with you, since there is no offering going on right now, I'm not really sharing "insider information" with you, since there are no shares issued (YET).
I am looking at hiring a good Public Relations firm right now, so that I can get the press releases out in the right order, and for some good advice on how to handle the patent issue, and of course for marketing, oh yeah and the NASDAQ thing.
I'm designing the marketing so I am able to take advantage of the coming year 2000 crisis - I'm sure people will be looking for renewable sources of backup power prior to the coming catastrophe. I hope that the ticker symbol BEAN isn't taken. If I can get someone like Arnie (maybe he'll wear the Terminator black leather jackets in the ads) or General Schwartzkoff (?sp) to endorse it, I should be able to sell lots of units to all those guys who bought overpriced 4WD vehicles after desert storm. Maybe the artist formerly known as whatchamacallit.
This thing will sell itself, and it sure can generate many valuable watts of electricity. For instance, I find it provides my electric guitar amp (200 Watt Marshall) with the kick I need to really power out of my world-famous earth-shattering Jimi Hendrix / Duane Allman / Django Reinhart fusion guitar solos when I'm sunning at the beach, or picnicking at the park on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
Steve, I know that you have the right to say want you want, but I really think you should wait until the stock is actually trading before you start bashing it with this sort of vicious personal attack. Stop calling up your unscrupulous compadres and ganging up on this one with your constant attacks. The invention is owned by a private company controlled by ME, so there is no use trying to illegally short it through one of your unscrupulous Canadian brokers! At least wait until the company is publicly trading before you start up one of your nefarious schemes!
Besides, after you have seen the details my fool-proof money making scheme I doubt that you will want to short it at all! I will be sure to keep you all informed as to when this baby will be hitting the market (even doubting Thomases are welcome Steven). Its a 10-bagger for sure!
WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!! HA HA HA HA HA!
Regards
John Sladek
NOTICE TO THE HUMOUR IMPAIRED!
This is a parody post and is not intended to be taken seriously. Any similarities to the postings of any Thread Morons past or present is purely intentional. The Candian Ministry of Canadian Heritage and Humour (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Disney) has not reviewed or approved of the contents of this posting and takes no responsibility for its contents. |
