THE EVIL HISTORY OF BURGER KING:
A long, long time ago, there lived a Burger Queen. The Burger Queen lived in a White Castle, but inspectors caught her doing kinky things with the meat, and she was ousted from the White Castle and the empire she had created. Side note: The inhabitants of the White Castle refused to give up the art of making hamburgers, but since all the hamburger meat was now tainted, they decided to slaughter their horses and use horsemeat, a tradition they still continue to this day. Getting back to the Burger Queen, she missed her meat, so she called upon an ancient evil wizard to give her back her power. The wizard (who was hot for the Queen despite her bizarre fetish) said he would grant her the power as long as she would become his bride and he could become the Burger King. She agreed, and the evil wizard became the evil king after they wed. However, on their wedding night, when the King came to bed, he caught the Queen with a pound and a half of chopped meat. Although he knew of her passions previously, he still couldn't help going into a jealous rage, and he killed the Queen. When all was said and done, he had no regrets because he was evil anyways, so he just assumed the newly reformed evil burger empire he created and which still exists to this day. The End.
So you see, when you go to Burger King, you're actually supporting an evil wizard, and you shouldn't do that! When you deserve your break today please go to McDonalds, you'll be glad you did.
MM |
