LP, It seems to me that rubber boots would be an essential
part of such an online vendor's commodities. No! Snowshoe-like
rubber boots--so you can stay above it all...Hmmm...A strong deodorizer...AH! Oxygen masks which would fortuitously serve
a dual purpose in such an environment and at such an altitude.
And, of course, wine glasses enscribed with the Amazon OmniOfferingVinoVenderHavanaHawkerCdDealerSnowshoeSeller
DeodorizerDumperPeriodicalPusherLiteratureLeaser
SoftwareSupplierToyTenderVideosForOneAndAllAnd
Don'tForgetTheDryCleaningHoney Logo, which I'm sure
could be delivered safely to your door step at a
mere 200% of what they normally cost.
Got Milk?
Hell, with Amazon you eliminate the need to ever leave home again.
Ommmmmmmm....Ommmmmmmm...Ommmmmmmm
<Pensive man with thumb and forefinger lightly pinching chin, sitting in arm chair staring at turned off computer>
"And it seemed to be just an ordinary day," said Pensive Man.
"Yes, that was 17 years ago...Huh(pensive smile, glistening eyes)It really seems as if it were...yes, just like yesterday. Are there many people out there? I mean...have things changed much?"
<Pensive Man reaches into cigar box, pulls out large cigar and a flip top aluminum lighter, both bearing the Amazon logo. Lights cigar. Corner of mouth. Closes lighter and stares at logo while polishing it with a forfinger>
"I...I...(eyes begin to water, jaw trembling)"
<As he breaks into a cry>
"I love Amazon...ehe.ehe(snifle, snifle)"
<Pulls cigar from corner of mouth and wipes tears from eyes with the back of his bathrobe sleeve>
"I'm happy. I really am. I just wonder sometimes what it would have been like...you know...life. I mean...If I hadn't found the Amazon hot button squishing the message board that day."
<Pensive Man, with ten-thousand mile stare, looks out window; Pensive>
I'm not lonely...Really. I mean I thought about children, but...Well Amazon doesn't allow that. I mean.. well, you know, my lifestyle doesn't allow that. I...I just can't talk to anybody anymore. No need to. God I love Amazon.
<Sudden sparkle in Pensive Man's eyes. He jumps up from his chair, tosses the cigar on the hardwood floor and smashes it with his rubber snowshoe. Runs to computer, slides across floor and gracefully slides right into his Amazon recliner. Leans forward, closes eyes, praying hands before him>
"Oh great and good Amazon, provider of all earthly necessities, please allow me to enter your domain."
<Computer instantaneously comes on, completely booted, with a swirling pinwheel pattern and some audio sounds that seem to be some foreign language>
<Pensive Man turns to interviewer>
"That's Amaspeak. They are asking why you are here."
To be continued
Lee
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