Bateman,
I read this and you were the first to come to mind<G>
"WASHINGTON, DC--(AP) On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No
>Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and
>protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act,
>signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being
>hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S.
>citizens who lack any real skills or uses.
>"Roughly 50 percent of Americans--through no fault of their own--do not
>possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for
>themselves in society," said Clinton, a longtime ANA supporter. "Their
>lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end
>busywork: xeroxing documents written by others, fulfilling
>mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing
>bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions
>of nonabled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up
>through the ranks is simply not a reality."
>Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
>important-sounding "middle man" positions will be created in the
>white-collar sector for nonabled persons, providing them with an
>illusory sense of purpose and ability. Mandatory, non-performance-based
>raises and promotions will also be offered to create a sense of
>upward mobility for even the most unremarkable, utterly replaceable
>employees.
>The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire
>nonabled workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one
>non-germane worker for every two talented hirees. Finally, the
>Americans With No Abilities Act also contains tough new measures to
>prevent discrimination against the nonabled by banning prospective
>employers from asking such job-interview questions as, "What can you
>bring to this organization?" and "Do you have any special skills that
>would make you an asset to this company?"
>"As a nonabled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up with
>co-workers who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who
>lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a Minneapolis tile
>wholesaler last month because of her lack of notable skills. "This new
>law should really help people like me."
>With the passage of the Americans With No Abilities Act, Gertz and
>millions of other untalented, inessential citizens can finally see a
>light at the end of the tunnel.
>Said Clinton: "It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings, to
>provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her lack
>of value to society, some sort of space to take up in this great
>nation."
>
" |
