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Pastimes : Jokes
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To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (444)7/24/1998 4:20:00 PM
From: treetopflier  Read Replies (3) of 2733
 
The Top 13 Signs Your Cruise Ship is on Fire

13> You detect a thick, noxious smoky odor but George Burns went
to bed hours ago.
12> The Captain happily announces that passengers now have a
choice between jumping into a fiery pit or the icy deep to escape Celine Dion's infernal racket.
11> Everyone in the conga line has a seltzer bottle and the Cruise
Director has them dancing toward the engine room.
10> People are already screaming in terror, and Carrot Top's act
doesn't start for another thirty minutes.
9> It's not happy hour and the captain just announced a 60%
discount on flaming drinks in the Admiral's lounge.
8> Small boats of refugees bearing down on you with long sticks
and marshmallows.
7> Kathie Lee orders the kids to stay at their posts and row
faster if they ever want to see their mommies or daddies again.
6> Tonight's scheduled entertainment in the lounge is mysteriously
replaced by Smokey Robinson and Charo.
5> Waters in the kiddie pool are bubbling like crazy, but there's
not a kid in sight.
4> You saw Bob Denver running to the laundry area with a bong.
3> The ice sculpture of Atlas is starting to resemble Kate Moss.
2> Last-minute change to dessert menu now features Cajun blackened
Jell-O.

1> Your ass is burning and Acapulco's still three ports away.
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