A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly
reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a
divorce."
"Because," the man says,"I live in a two-story house."
The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal
about a two-story house?"
The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'"
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Noticing that her husband's relationship with the alluring young miss across
the street was becoming more than a little friendly, the suspicious wife
awoke one morning to find herself alone in bed. Angered, she dialed her
attractive neighbor and bellowed into the phone, "Tell my husband to get his
ass across the street."
"Ma'am," a soft, sexy voice replied, "That's where he's been getting it for
some time now."
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A couple was on their honeymoon, laying in bed, about ready to consummate
their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a
confession to make-- I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one other guy." "Oh yeah?
"Who was the guy?"
"Arnold Palmer."
"Arnold Palmer the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with
him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they get done, the
husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" says the wife. The husband says, "I'm hungry. I was
going to call room service and get some food."
"Arnie wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Arnie do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his
wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the
phone.
"What are you doing?" She says. The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I
was going to get room service to get some food." "Arnie wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Arnie do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time." The guy slams down the
phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone
and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Palmer to find out what's par for this hole!" |
