PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zoo keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
 constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
 bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
 let fly-and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
 
 Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
 ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him
 like a dump truck full of mud.
 
 "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
 Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
 unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
 him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
 
 "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an
 hour before a watchman came along, and during that  time he suffocated.
 
 "It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen sometimes-a
 billion-to-one shot, at least."
 
 The heartbreaking tale of constipation and tragedy began April 23 when the
 conscientious zoo keeper noticed that his prize, 8,000-pound African
 elephant didn't seem to be producing his usual poop aplenty.
 
 "Friedrich had actually been concerned for several days because he knew
 that severe constipation can kill an elephant," assistant zoo keeper Kurt
 Herrman recalled.
 
 "He told me he was going to stay late that Thursday night to treat Stefan
 with laxatives and possibly give him an enema.
 
 "I offered to help, but he sent me on home, saying he had everything under
 control."
 
 But two hours later, horrified night watchman Walter Pleuger found
 Friedrich lying lifeless under a mound of muck, his body visible only from
 the knees down.
 
 "I had never really thought about it before," Det. Dern said.
 
 "But obviously, giving an elephant an enema can be a very dangerous
 activity -- and not something that should be attempted alone."