Question: Why did the Amazombie cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of Amazombie to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no Amazombie has gone before.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment
would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we
were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the Amazombies's side of the road
was threatening its dominant market position. The Amazombie was faced
with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies
required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a
partnering relationship with the client, helped the Amazombie by
rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen
helped the Amazombie use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital
and experiences to align the Amazombie's people, processes and technology
in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross- spectrum of road
analysts and best Amazombies along with Anderson consultants with deep
skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary
of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital,
both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each
other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and
successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value
framework across the continuum of Zombie cross-median processes The
meeting was held in a park like setting, enabling and creating an
impactful
environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built
upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with
the Amazombies mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards
the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting
helped the Amazombie change to become more successful.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
Amazombie 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him
down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all Amazombies will
be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the Amazombie crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more Amazombies have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The Amazombie did not cross the road. I repeat, the
Amazombie did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the Amazombie crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this Amazombie doing
walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the Amazombie crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Amazombie Office 2000, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay Zombies, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the Amazombie cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the AmaZombie crossing?"
DARWIN: Amazombies, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross
roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the Amazombie crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the Amazombie depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own Amazombie nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The Amazombie did not cross the road.
It transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? What the Frig is that in that Fryer?
BILL CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with the Amazombie
(modified by permission of author. Thank you Auric Goldfinger)
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