"... work on our drop kicks."
So, Muffy eagerly took Chuck Norris' hand and disappeared into the crowd.
This left Richard Simmons and Jane Seymour to listen to Bob Bemer's ongoing discussion of packed decimal, binary digits, etc. Jane was getting very bored with the discussion, but Richard was totally engrossed in every word Bob spoke. In fact, Richard was watching Bob's lips very closely, as if trying to capture the true essence of every syllable. Too get a better view, Richard stepped closer. Bob didn't notice, so Richard stepped even closer. So, close, in fact, that their feet accidentally (?) touched.
Bob immediately stepped back and, with a look of disdain, yelled at Richard, "Hey, pal! Stay away from my boots!"
Jane Seymour, relieved that the boring technical discussion had come to an abrupt end, smiled sweetly at the camera crew, her pearly whites taking up the whole screen.
Mike Wallace, always a fan of the color white, took notice. "Nice smile", he said. Jane responded, "Thanks", and cuddled up next to Mike. The cameras clicked off. Must be something in their contract about that ...
Richard, now without an object of his immediate affection, pouted by the fire hydrant and gazed off into the parade. He didn't even notice the chihuahua that sidled up to the hydrant and relieved his bladder on the hydrant. The urine splashed off the hydrant onto Richard's left shoe. Thinking that the sensation on his foot was one of the parade members trying to get his attention, Richard stepped off the curb and disappeared into the throng of people.
[Fade to dark ...]
[Editor1: What? That's it? But, what about Bob?]
[Editor2: Oh, cute ... "what about Bob?" ... you've been waiting for that line, haven't you?]
[Editor1: Yeah. For many years. Let's face it. How many chances do you get to use a line like that? You have to wait for somebody to set you up, otherwise it looks fabricated. This opportunity was just TOO good to pass up.]
[Editor2: Well, OK. I can understand your using your poetic license to throw in a little zinger like that, but what are we going to do about this story? Muffy's off practicing her kick boxing with Chuck Norris, Jane Seymour and Mike Wallace are discussing the latest TV ratings, Bob Bemer is standing there talking to a bunch of disinterested members of the TV crew about something they'll NEVER understand, Richard Simmons is "accidentally" bumping into all the good looking guys in the parade ... so, what the heck do we do now?]
[Editor1: Hey, that's not my job. I just edit what other folks write. We need another author to come along and pick up the pieces.]
[Editor2: Geez. That stinks. I'm reporting you to the Editor's Guild.]
[Editor1: Yeah?]
[Editor2: Yeah!]
[Editor1: Yeah?]
[Editor2: Yeah!]
[Thread Moderator: Oh my gosh .. can't you guys understand that all this bickering is going to cause us to lose readership? We can't afford that, you know. We've been off the Hot List for several weeks now. We need to stimulate interest, not stifle it!]
[Editor1: Stimulate? Hmmmm ... that's what we need for Muffy. Something to stimulate her.]
[Editor2: Yeah. I agree. Let's see ... she's with Chuck Norris. How about having them finish their kick box practicing, then she invites him to dinner?]
[Editor1: Sounds good to me. What then?]
[Editor2: Heck, I don't know. That's what we have all these creative authors for. Let them figure out.]
... back to the story ...
After Chuck Norris taught Muffy a few things about kick boxing, she offered to return the favor and teach him a few things back at her hotel. But first, they stopped in to have dinner at the ... |